The Talks of the Drugged Girl

2007-05-11T13:48:00.000+08:00

ALOHA!!!!!

Damn the weather,ballls!!
One minute your rushing to
close the windows before the rain gets
in and the next,you're sweating till
Kingdom come.
What the F**k !!!!

Anyhoos,the past few days have been
quite happening for me.
Went out with my mum,bro and godbro
on Saturday..Had lunch at this pasta place
in Taka then went shopping for my PJs..
I'm now wearing a nice pair of striped pink
boxers and a pink tank..
Real cute,I'm telling you..I mean the PJs.
Went to Heeren after to get Richie his slippers.
guess wad?? I didn't know you could put water
in the sole of the slippers and drink from it??
Man,you really gotta be desperate to drink from the
sole of your shoes..don't you think?
Ah well..The man's happy with the slippers,then it's ok..
While he was getting the slippers,I went up to Baby's
shop to pass her the soup I bought for her..
SO cute she was when I saw her.
I love her to bits,I'm telling you.

Sunday was really superb..Met the bonkers for a day out..
Had alot of fun at Minds cafe and shopping around..
Same ol' us..Arguing..Pairing up and walking..Laughing like
nobody's business..bitching and gossiping..;)
We sure as hell are guilty of that..
Met nesh and baby later that night..This is only the second time
their meeting and they're like buddies already..heh..
Good thing they get along..
We almost didn't wanna go home..;( It was damn saddening..
But oh well..15th awaits us..Another outting and I can't wait..

i can't remember what I did on Monday but I can remember
Tuesday though..
That was day mum and I went mad at the Bobbi brown makeup
counter..i simply love her makeup..To die for,I'm telling you..
Wednesday was spent with baby..
Don't really need to elaborate further so yeah..*grins..

Yesterday I sent baby to work and then went to Kinokunya
to look at makeup books to get equipped before school starts..
i gotta get every one of bobbi brown's books..
They're really good..Seriously..
Saw a few other fabulous books by this makeup artist named
Kevyn something..Gotta get that too..
Can hardly wait for school to start..
But I'm kinda scared..of meeting new people..No one i know's
taking that course too..Oh well..I gotta be strong and
independent..I've to stand on my own feet..
No choice,actually..

Ogey.i'm getting kinda lazy so yeah..
gonna go out soon..

toodles.

2007-05-05T00:44:00.000+08:00

Got back from prayers at my uncle's
place not long ago.
Got pissed off even before the prayers
started.SIGH.

Just how could you???
I don't hate you.
I f**king hate what you did.
Pardon my language.
I'm just ticked off right now.

Tsk.

Anyway..I had a great talk with my
grand aunt whom I seldom talked to.
Now she and I are buddies.;)
I can talk to her about any damn thing
I want to.All she'll do is just be frank with me
and tell me her side of stuff.
She's really cool.

Tomorrow's a free day for me.
Don't gotta come back home early for prayers
because we had the last session today.
So I guess I'll be going out with mum.
She really needs to go out (and so do I)..
After that most prob I'll meet Chris and Casey if
they're free..
I'm dying for Fluffy.
FLUFFY...

Now you call.
And we're arguing.
Sigh.
Goodnight.

2007-04-30T00:22:00.000+08:00

Alot of things happened suddenly.

-Out shopping with mum.
-Mum gets call from maid.
-Maid says my grandfather had a
coughing fit and then went silent.
-Mum starts panicking and asked maid
if he's breathing.
-Maid can't talk because she's in shock.
-We both panick and run to taxi stand.
-Waited one and a half hours for cab.
-Mum's friend went over instead.
-Mum's friend calls my mum and says
"I'm sorry,he's gone."
-Mum cries in taxi stand.
-I feel damn bad but trying to calm mum
down.
-We finally get into the cab and rush over.
-Police is waiting outside the house.
-They question her.
-She tries to speak while crying.
-I see grandpa.
-I cry.
-He's gone.

;-(

Goodbye grandpa.
But i know you're still gonna be around
to watch us grow up.
You lost your eyesight totally when I was 2.
At least you got to know how my brother and
I look like.
I'm only 19..and you thought I was in university
about 3 years ago.How cute you are,grandpa.
I'm gonna miss you.
No wait..I already do.
The last I saw you was at Christmas.
I meant to come down to see you that night with
mum.
But we were too late.You didn't wait for us.
I guess you chose that time for a reason.
Mum and I are just sad that no one was with
you at the time of your peaceful departure.
But i do believe somehow that your mum was there.
I do believe angels were there for you.
Singing for you.
I was in shock.
I never knew you were going to go that fast.
i always thought you were really strong,just like
your wife.
We didn't tell her you're gone,though.
I know she knows by herself.
She's quiet these days.No more hallucinations.

My suit is ready to be worn for you tomorrow.
So is mum's and godpa's.
I'm sorry Richie couldn't be here.
Dad too.
But you know we'll visit you together whenever
we can.
You know we will.
Everything happened so fast.
You taught me one thing though,that I always
never believed or just simply brushed off..
You taught me that you should always treasure the
ones you love and say everything you wanna say to
your loved ones before it's too late.
You also taught me that things happen when you
least expect it.
Now I know what to do and what to look for
in life.

My tears are dropping now,endlessly.
I just felt the need to put down my feelings here.
I hope you know how much I loved you and how
I loved to talk to you,even if it was about something
you were hallucinating or imagining.
Whatever you told me,I'd cherish it.
I won't forget it.
I won't.
You're always gonna be in my heart.
I will never forget you.

We know it is against your wish to be cremated.
We respect that,hence your burial tomorrow.
No matter how far we have to travel to get to your
place on earth,we'll do it.
You mean alot to us.
We thought no one would come to your wake.
But look at the turn out?
Everyone knew how good you were to us.
It was just your character to be wise,honest,patient,
and giving.
I know you had a tragic accident.
You fell badly into a drain after coming out from church.
You had a serious eye op that left you blind.
Yet you didn't give anyone trouble.
Mum said you never gave anyone trouble.
Even when you departed,you didn't trouble anyone.
We wouldn't have said anything if you did.

Grandpa,I can't say more.
I never really talked to you much because i only
visited you once a week when I was in pri school.
In secondary school,I was much busier and I seldom
came there to see you.
I regret that.
So what if you're blind? You still could feel my hands.
and you could talk to me.
I regret that..I'm sorry..I'm really so so sorry.
I know you won't hold it against me.
But I won't make this mistake anymore.
Even if your wife can't really see anymore,I'm gonna try
and talk to her everyday.Bit by bit,depending on her
mood.Sometimes she gets bad dreams and starts
screaming.I never once complained about that.
She can't help it.
In a way,she lights up the room in the morning.
You will know what I'm talking about when you come
and see her tomorrow.
For now,please try and get some rest.
It might be cold for you,though it's hot for us.
I've covered your brown box.I don't wanna say the word.
But to me,it's the brown box.
I've polished off the fingerprints,like last night.
I hope you like the box mum and I agreed on.
I regret not taking the white one though.
i thought you might get offended because the guy said
it usually is for ladies.
You'll have much more freedom and peace tomorrow.
Not to worry.
Once again,please try and rest now.
We're gonna do the same.
i want to have enough strength for you tomorrow.
I just want to.

Goodnight,grandpa.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Night night.

2007-04-27T11:43:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling much better now.
I think.
I kept thinking and thinking last night
before I slept..Which was around 3..
This feeling of depression just came over
me..
I forced myself to sleep..
I listened to the same song over and over
again till I felt sleepy and just chucked the
ipod away.I didn't realise it was on repeat.
Sigh..

I got a million and one things to say..
They're at the tip of my tongue..No.wait.
Fingers,I meant.
But making you feel more guilty than you
already do is not gonna make things better..
Neither would I feel good about it..
Because you punished me for my wrong
doings in ways that I won't ever do to
you..

I'm still sore about it,alright.
I've forgiven you but I'm still sore.
It hit me very badly..
I'm sure what I did to you last time
was lingering at the back of your head for
a few days or maybe a week after it happened.
I won't question you anymore..
I'm tired..and I know you're tired of answering
my questions.
Oh wait..I have but one more question to ask you..
I guess I'll text you soon..

I'm supposed to go out with my mum..
But i'm rather reluctant(although it's shopping time)
because I know she wants to speak to me bout
something I really do NOT wanna talk about..
Well,maybe I'll talk to her bout how I feel and everything..
But she's jolly well gonna talk me out of it..
Tough luck,again.
I'd better win..
This is all up to me anyway.

nothing is worst than having a very very bad tummy
ache when you're about to go out.
Grrrrrr...

2007-04-26T20:11:00.000+08:00

FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fuck................
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.

Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't ever wanna say this to your
face...
THIS is what's in my HEAD..

"I think i'll get outta here..
Where I can run..Just as fast as I can..
To the middle of nowhere..
To the middle of my frustrated fears..
And I swear..You're just like a pill..
Instead of making me better..You keep making
me ill.."

I didn't mean every word in there..
I meant the first part though..
sigh..
SIGH..!!

I filed off my long nails which I took time
to grow..Just so that I won't do SOMETHING..
FUCK!!!!!

Nah..I don't think I have an anger management
problem..

Ah,FUCK..

2007-04-26T13:07:00.000+08:00

Been two days huh..

Keeping myself busy with my friends
and baby..:)

Let's see.Tuesday afternoon was supposed
to be spent at church with Shal and Chris..
But since I had insomnia and only slept at
5.30..I happily woke up at 11.45 when mass
was at 12..
Perfect..Did not go to church..
Thought mum went also..so I called her
handphone whilst still in bed..
She answered the phone and then i realised
she was in the house..-_-
She was down with food poisoning..

So anyway..Chris came over and showered then
we went to Hougang Mall to meet Shal..
Had fun catching up with her..
But I didn't enjoy the malay emo guys
staring at Chris and us..
Why the hell do they have to do that when they
see other people with emo hairstyles?
Mad or just plain mad? You tell me..
But then i realised something,.
Thay have absolutely nothing at all to do..
No school..nothing..
All they do is hang out an wait for people to
come by so they can stare at them..
SIckening,I say..
Shan't say anymore..
(Don't exactly wanna get into trouble)

We left Shal at her house..
Then we train-ed to Bugis and met Casey
and Khai..Took a soot from Casey..
Felt a bit better after that..
I'm not gonna say that i'm addicted to it..
But I think I am..but then again..I know what
to do..not to worry,baby.
You soot too..;)
We headed to town after that..Looked around
here and there..
Saw many things I'd like to get..;)
Saw some stuff for baby too..
not gonna say what because baby reads my blog..
Hmm..

Didn't do much yesterday..
Just lazed around at home with baby..She was off again..
She stayed the night before and last night..
Now she's off to work..
And i'm off to meet mum for bra and panty shopping..
;)
Gonna be fun..

Okay..baby needs the goodbye kiss from me..
and more..

so..

2007-04-24T00:32:00.000+08:00

Good morning my dearest com..

;)
I've been ignoring you..
for bout..hmm..1 day?
And I feel damn bad..
No hard feelings okay?
Okay..

The past 2 days were spent with
Baby..she was off..
We spent great quality time yesterday..
And I have to say that she's really patient
with me..when i looked at shoes and stuff..
She took the time to pick out nice stuff for
me..I did the same for her too..
She saw alot of stuff she liked..
But we were both broke so no shopping
was done..;)
Soon..soon..

Today..was holland v day..
went there with Baby and met Chris and Casey..
Had yong tau fu soup and felt abit bloated and
sick after that..so i kept drinking water..
Then Brandon came..poor fellow..argued with
Roxanne..Oh well..None of my business but..
Just feel bad for him..;(

Meeting Shal tomorrow with Chris..
Gonna go to church and meet my mum
there..Haven't chatted with her in a
DAMN long time..
Can't wait to sit and talk to her..
I know she's changed alot..
But it's for the better..
Oh..before going to church..
I'm hitting the gym with Chris..
I asked baby along..but she's scared she'll
be late for work..afternoon shift..
Speaking of her..she's supposed to be online now..
But she's missing in action..
;)

I'M BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Argh....
and i'm not tired..
I can't sleep!!!
kept getting up yesterday..don't know why..
SIgh..am I that stressed?
I don't think so..
It's minimizing..but why am I not sleeping well?
Sigh..

Oh well..off i go..
gonna look for baby..

2007-04-19T22:18:00.000+08:00

Took these e few days ago at casey's house..
Just felt like putting them up now..
God damn it! I'm so bored at home..
But anyway I'm too tired to go out anywhere..
Seriously..
I'm very very moody and tired..
I think it's THAT time of the month again..
I soooooooo do not like..
I'm feeling very very bloated on top of that..
And somehow..any songs that have people screaming
and shouting just irritate the shit out of me now..
I don't know why..

I'm feeling so F**ked UP!!!!!
GGGgggrrrrrr...
There's no one online to talk to also!
Shall just wait for baby to get home and
go online so I can talk to her..
;)

Oh well..since I had a whole day of boredom..
It shall end tomorrow..
Made plans to go to casey's house for fondue..
Shall not eat the whole of tomorrow till the
fondue..That way I won't feel so guilty bout
gaining weight..
Thinking whether to bring my laptop to
casey's house again or will mum scold me
again??
I'm taking good care of this baby..
How the hell can I ruin it?!
SIgh...
Oh well..
Shall see how it goes...
Bloody dumb fuck!

Just felt like saying that..
Hee..

2007-04-18T15:38:00.000+08:00

When's this feeling of depression
ever gonna go away?
It's actually up to me..
But I seriously have no clue whatsoever
to what I'm supposed to do..

One,two or more people have been
complaining bout things I've been
doing..
I shall not say anything more..
I think I should just stay in my room
and not leave.
That way I won't be disturbing people
right?
Wrong..
I'm gonna go all out and just be myself..
Love me for who I am..
Can't handle it? Well,I'm sorry I'm not perfect.

I'm feeling ever so tired now..I got up bout
3 hours ago and I didn't even do anything..
It's either I'm being a slob or it just proves to
show that I'm just depressed.
And you know what's the most irritating thing of
it all?
It's not being able to decide whether I wanna go
out or just stay home.
F***k,I tell you.

I'm gonna try and keep myself occupied.
Oh..before that I think I ought to go take a
shower..
Baby's coming over and I don't exactly wanna
torture her by being stinky.
Come on,she had work just now and that's probably
the last thing she needs right now,right?

Oh yeah..forgot to mention that yesterday
was a blast.
Went to Holland V with Chris to meet casey..
Rented a dvd (which we ended up not watching)
Then we went over to Casey's house..
I must say her house is extremely cozy..;)
and so's her bed..
I brought my laptop to transfer stuff from hers
to mine..
then we played around and then ate pasta that
her dad made..
Boy,was it good!
So then after that we played around somemore then
we sat in front of the tv..
I cut and coloured casey's hair while watching
Robin hood..
Her father said that I'm good..;)
That made my day,actually.
After that I waited for casey to wash out the colour
and then we went to buy chocolates to eat from
Caltex..instead of having the fondue coz it
was too late already..
Headed home after that..it was really fun.
Hopefull we're gonna have the chocolate
fondue on Friday..

Was just watching Gwen stefani's making the video..
So wish to be her..

2007-04-17T13:07:00.000+08:00

Oh my God!!!!

I was supposed to get up at 6am and
get ready to go to SJC and I overslept!!
I was so excited to see the band playing
for the SYF..;(
WHY WHY WH???!!!!!
Perhaps it's coz I slept a lil too late..
Sigh...
I'm very disappointed with myself now..
THe funny thing is that I set the alarm
to 6am and I didn't hear it ring at all!!
WHY??!!
I never did this before....
I'm so so so so upset..
I'm gonna make sure the next the band
plays and I get an opportunity to watch,
I'm gonna sleep outside the place.
That way I won't be late at all..
GGGGGgggrrrrrr...............................

AH well..
I'm supposed to get ready now..
and meet chris and casey at Holland V..
We're gonna go to casey's house and have
a chocolate fondue and movie party.;)
I like..
After that I'm gonna go to town and fetch
the girlfriend from work.
Don't worry darling..we'll go have fondue at
some nice place when you're off ok?
You missed my last fondue session too,you
know? ;(
Soon,honey..soon.

Mum bought lunch for me already.
I guess I can't leave till I eat at least a bit.
Or she'll have the nagging fits..
She won't stop..
And she'll give me that killer look.
I don't like..
So I'm gonna eat then get ready to go..
I owe mum a great big thanks for getting me
alot of stuff lately..
Like a power book,and ipod video,a crumpler..
I ought to work my ass off at achool and get a good
job and pay her back somehow..

Okay then..
Off I go..

Oh..I'm feeling very down..
I don't know why..
Err..actually I do..
But i'm not too certain about it so I'm not
gonna say anything..

2007-04-15T22:25:00.000+08:00

I just came back home.

Ate pasta and I'm not gonna eat
for the rest of the week.

Sent my bro off at the airport.

Came back home.

Chatted on the phone.

Not in a good mood now.

tata.

2007-04-15T15:52:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time,huh.

Well,the past few months have been really
bumpy for me..
And somehow it affected alot of other people
as well..I never thought I'd get myself into
this sought of mess but..Oh well..you make
mistakes and you learn from them..
In my case..I made the mistake and I still
continued to wallow in it..
I know..Dumb right? Just plain dumb.
But i still did it..It's done.

But as I said to someone before..
Sometimes it takes tragedies to make you
realise how important things or people are
to you..
I neglected and ignored my family's words and
went against them..
Big Mistake..
Now I'm left with a perforated eardrum due to
assault.
My fault.I asked for it I guess.

I've put it all behind me now but I still get reminded
of it when I go for checkups.
It's a nightmare that I thought I'd never live.
Hey,I don't wish for anyone to ever go through this
pain.You'd just rather live your second life instantly.
I've got a blood clot in that perforated ear drum and
it's to be removed in 2 months.They tried removing it
sometime back but it hurt like hell so they stopped.
Know what? I'm just gonna go ahead and remove it now
because I'm sick of not being able to hear well..
I can't hear music properly using earphones.I DO NOT LIKE.
So I'm gonna get it removed soon and I hope I can make
the appointment on a day where Baby can follow me.
But then again I'm wondering if she'd be able to take it
without getting upset.Hmmm..

Anyway,I have ever right to feel contented now..
I'm gonna be starting my school soon..
*rubs my hands with glee..
My dream's finally here..
After a long year of wasting my life.
I'm' finally gonna be doing what I love and guess what..
I get to do it every damn day and the rest of my life!!!!
That's something for me I guess..
I just have to keep myself on track and no matter what,I
cannot afford to lose out.
Hope everything goes well..

I feel like the pieces of my life's starting to fall in it's
place now.But whatever obstacles come,I'll just face it like
anyone else would.I'm not gonna run away anymore..
I'm not afraid to shout at people whom I never thought I'd
shout at.
I'm not afraid to voice out any damn thing I should.
I'm not afraid to look into someone's eyes and tell him/her
off for whatever reason.
I'm just not gonna hide.
I'm gonna live by my rules this time.
I've been too soft-hearted and that's a known fact to people.
It's just a matter of time until it got the better of me and I
got hurt so badly.
So yeah..Things are gonna be different from now on.
But I'm still gonna be the same me.

Okay..Now that's done.
My bro's leaving for Taiwan tonight.
Gonna miss him alot when he goes.
3 weeks of not seeing him,even if it's just weekends when he
books out (althought I see him for bout 5 or so minutes)..
I'm still gonna miss him..
Somehow it seems that he's closer to us even more than before..
I'm lovin' that..:)
So I'm off to the airport tonight..
But having dinner at some place before that.

Baby's knocking off from work soon..
Oh! I'm supposed to call her now!

Laters..

2007-04-15T00:27:00.001+08:00

hello

2006-08-03T21:18:00.000+08:00

OK then..

I'm seriously pissed..
I really really am..

I sooooo looked forward to
having my N70 in my hands
today..but the damn shop
didn't have stock and it'll only
come in tmr..;( ;(
Ah well..At least it's tmr..
It cost dad a bomb though..
including the 512MB card that I
wanted to get as well..
I guess I ought to kiss my dad's ass..

Also..I have dinner with my grandma
and my aunt and my uncle and his
secretary tmr..
Somehow I'm nervous and agitated..
Coz that's not wad I wanna do at all..
But I have no choice..
I mean..I'm not being mean..but you
don't know how much and how good
my grandma is at humiliating the
life out of me in front of everyone!!!!
I just hope they'll eat fast and go home
fast..!
GGGGGGGGGRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Know what?
I feel like shit right now..
I don't feel like celebrating my
birthday at all..
My own friends actually forgot my
plans I had for my birthday..
And they knew how much it meant to
me..

I don't really fancy saying this..
But..

F**k you all!!!

2006-08-02T20:29:00.000+08:00

Ok ok OK!!!!!!!!!!!
I seriously couldn't be bothered
to blog..
I've been caught up with stuff
like SHOPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know why but my mum has
been bringing me on shopping
sprees..
;) ;)

I like..;)
heh..

Well..I got new clothes to wear on
my birthday which is coming soon!!!!!!!
So yeah..Mum got me:

1) A pair of new specs..
2) A new gorgeous watch..
3) A pair of birkenstocks..
4) A gorgeous bag which I've been dreaming
about..
5) Lots and lots of earrings..
6) Lots and lots of necklaces..
7) Lots and lots of braclets..

And I hope for alot more but
I think I'll get them on my own la..
But then Dad has agreed from overseas
to buy me N70!!!!!!
I can't wait to get it in my hands!!!!
Woo hoO!!!!!

Know what??
I'm starting to think that my own
friends can't care less bout my
birthday or how I feel..
Seriously..
I called one and she said.."Oh yeah,
it's your birthday right? Yup,I'll try to
come la k?"
Oh my God..you should have heard the
tone of it..it hurts..really..
And another one ends work at 2pm..
and she expects me to ask about 13-15
people to wait for her majesty's arrival,
and then start to have lunch..
WTF!!!???

Well anyway..
I'm meeting Beryl earlier and I'm sure I'll
feel a sense of being alive with her,even
if I don't with my own friends..
Seriously..even my ex's friends care alot more
than them..
Ok..I better stop..

Hmm..anyhow..precious is taking me out
on Friday..I know where we're going..
;);)
Heh..but she wants me to be surprised
so i'll be surprised..:)
Hope she can spend more time with me on
Friday..

Whatever it is..
I hope things go alright this weekend..
If not..
I can only hope that things will be ok
AFTER my birthday..

Ah well..
I keep getting this feeling that
something's missing..
But I can't figure out what it is!!
That irritates the shit out of me..
So I'm gonna take my anger and
confusion somewhere else,yeah?

CIAO!!!!!!

Now I know the meaning of
your clearly-made statements..

2006-07-23T15:27:00.000+08:00

Testing...1..2...3..

Hello! Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've not been blogging on a
daily basis beacuse..well..
I've to study..as well as handle other
thingy things..
And THEIR ALL KILLING ME!!!!
So much so that I've become really
sick until I had to go to the A&E
at Tan Tock Seng hospital
two nights ago..My fever was
reaching 40 degrees!!!
My head felt so hot and my mum just
had to tell me.."That's your brains
beginning to fry if you don't get your
arse to the hospital..!" I stood
in my room..(and mind you..Eunice was
there when all this was happening coz
she was to stay over that night)..and teared
and said everything I could so that I wouldn't
have to go to the hospital because I
knew that if I went..There'd be a blood test!!!
I HATE NEEDLES!!!!!!!!!!
I mean..yeah..I can pierce my belly and ears and
stuff but NOT WITHDRAWING BLOOD!!!
It seriously is not like withdrawing cash you know?
But I swear that doctors find it really
pleasurable to just go round and take blood from
people..uh huh..
SO yeah..I was really frightened of the blood test..
I knew that..even though I didn't have much
energy left,or how weak I was feeling..
If one doctor laid their finger on the draw handle
where they kept the needles and syringes..
I WON'T THINK TWICE ABOUT RUNNING
OUT OF THE ROOM!!
I know,I know..I'm turning 18 already and is
still acting like that..
HEY! We all have phobias k???
I just have a different way of reacting to
facing the phobia..that's all..;)
My mum asked if I wanted to go to
SGH or TTSH..
I asked what's the difference and she
said going to SGH,It's very fast but the
journey there was long..And TTSH..
the waiting time was long but the journey
there was really short..So yeah..
I remembered that I took a powerful pill
just minutes before the decision of which
hospital I had to go to..All I needed was time
for it to work..So I figured if I chose to
go to the one with the longer time..
My pill would work and My fever will be down
so they won't have a reason to take my
blood sample..;) ;)
When I reached the hospital though..
I surrended myself to them..
I couldn't care if they wanted a whole
bucket of blood or what..
I just couldn't care less..
But surprisingly,when I was prepared for
the blood-suckers..they didn't take my blood
at all!! :0
I can't say how happy I was..I was really shocked..
Halfway throught the checkup,the doc went out
of the room for awhile..So then I took the chance
to say this to my mum.."If the doctor doesn't say
anything about taking a blood sample..DON'T
PUSH IT..." She kept really quiet..
UH huh..So the doc said it was a viral attack
and that it'll last for 7 days..and I thank GOD
it's not the week before my birthday..:)
Oh..and this sickness will help me lose weight
before my birthday..;)
Anyway..I'd like to thank EUNICE WANG
for helping to sponge my body with ice
perpetually..even if she had to touch my
armpits..;) She helped to calm me down as
well when I was angry with my mum..
She stood by me every minute so that I
won't be alone through this..
THANKS A MILLION, GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!;)

So yes..*ahem* My birthday is coming up soon..
AND I'M TURNING 18....
I seriously am really really excited..
I can't do anything I want already..
Accept sign things on my own for stuff..i guess..
Oh well..

I am VERY very bored right now..
I can't eat because my tonsils are
swollen..and drinking fluid is already a pain
in the butt..So there's nothing left to do..
but to either watch tv..or watch tv..
So I guess I better watch tv..
Oh! I can't sleep as well..Oh no..I just woke
up..So I can't..
SEE??????
This is what stress does to you~~~!!!!!

Ah! And I'm VERY angry with this one person
who took ONE box of PANADOLS and SLIT
her WRIST for a VERY VERY stupid reason..
I wasn't angry with her before..but she assumed
I was and so this is what she did..so NOW I'm very
disappointed in her and she better not be that
stupid again..I mean..yeah..I made that mistake too..
and I've told her about it..about A THOUSAND
times that it's really dumb and I was dumb enough
to do that before..and she STILL can do it..
WHAT THE F***??!!
This is what I'm angry with..
She better not do it again..
Oh..but then again..I DON'T CARE now..
so yeah..

I think I better go..
No point in me typing somemore..
It might bring my fever back up now..
Instead of it coming back tonight..As always..

So help me GOd..

I've not finished giving you a piece of my mind..
You ought to know exactly what the consequences
are..of what you just did..
I HATE YOU..

2006-07-12T11:06:00.000+08:00

WOOOOO hooooOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haha..I've not been blogging for nearly
a month!
Busy Busy Busy..
And alot has happened..
Alot of shopping's been done..(Whheeeee...!)
Alot of exercising's been done..
Alot of happiness has been going around in me..
Alot of tears have been flowing..
Well...It's all over and I know how to deal with
everything now..

Hmm..for the love of God..I can't remember
what I've been doing..
But I might remember on the way...

School's been so-so as usual..
But I'm DAMN proud of scoring high
marks in my mid-terms..;) ;)
3 cheers for me!!!!
I scored A1 for combined humans..
A2 for combined science..A1 for English..
and err...ok..I failed Maths and Lit.
Maths has ALWAYS been that way..
But Lit? Err...it was my first time doing the
exam so it should be no problem the next
time..I SWEAR!!!!! :0
Oh yeah..during one of the English lessons..
I saw an extremely disturbing video of the
"happy slapping"..It was some time back in
the newspapers..About this group of girls
beating and kicking and slapping this girl
and removing her clothes and so on..
!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????
I'm sure you won't feel that much if you just
read it..If you had watched the video..
You wouldn't have been able to sleep for
awhile...;(
It was horrible the way they did it..
Lucky..there was no blood...
Ah well.............

Dad's gone back overseas and so yeah..
It's FREEDOM for me!!!!!!!!!
But I still go to school on time and stuff..
But the good thing bout him not being her
is that..Mum brings out Dr. Gold..(American
Express card) and she isn't afraid to use it
as and when she wants!!!
hahaha....;)
That's how we've been shopping..
We see..we like..we buy...
And we take a cab everywhere we go..
Coz of my mum's stomache..
Her op wound is still kinda tender..
Hmmmm....

Other than the shopping..
my mum and I have been talking about
and I got to know LOTS and LOTS of stuff
about my dad and his family which I never
knew of..DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY'S MY FAMILY LIKE THAT???
I learnt that my grandma even slept with her
own ******* ** ***..!!!!!!!
How could she do something like that??
OK...nevermind..Although it does affect me
one way or another..I still don't have to worry..

Oh yeah..last week..I got extensions done..;)
That was happiest day of the year so far..
(I can't wait for my birthday too..)
Now I've got hair to almost near my waist!
Hmm...wanted to put pictures up but
Precious couldn't lend me hers coz of her dad..
and my dad took his with him..
GOD KNOWS what he wants to take pics of..
EEeee..ok..I don't wanna know..-_-

Every Sunday for the past month or so I've
been going for choir..;)
YEAH...I joined a church choir and I feel
very very relaxed everytime I go there..
It's coz I get to sing my heart out which I love
to but don't get a chance to at home..
and also..while everyone's sitting on the pews..
I get to sit on a platform and lean back and
let my legs dangle down..;)
I have a reason to drink water as well..;)
heh..Yeah well..I've yet to go for confession..
I better go this Saturday..Because I wanna
recieve Holy Communion..
Only then do I not have to worry about
anything else..;)

I skipped school today..
Didn't feel like waking up at all..
Had very very strange dreams though..
I still can't figure out what they meant..
Hmmmm...

Okie dokie..This has been a VERY BORING
entry so yeah..
I'm just gonna go now..
and hopefully I remember to blog tomorrow
or something...
TATA...

And it feels like..we're having..
the TIME OF OUR LIVES...

2006-06-19T20:10:00.000+08:00

ALLELUIA!!!!!!!

My mum's finally out of
hospital after the long week
there..;)
She's alot better now..
Able to walk and eat and all..
That's REALLY a RELIEF!!!!

So anyway..the first day we went
there..We got mum checked in
and registered and all that..
I HAD to play with the hospital
bed of course..
Up and down and up and down..
Geez..If I had the money I'd buy
that bed for myself..
It's SOOOOOOooooooooooo
comfy and err..flexible?
Heh..
The next day was scary though..
It was her operation day..;(
She went in at 12.30pm
and was due to come out at
3..
But we waited and waited and I
nearly pissed in my pants..
Because at 4..she was not out yet..
At 4.30 she STILL was not out..
My dad's face turned white and
I though.."Oh Dear God..Please
do not let my dad faint at this
point of time.I have no one else.."
Thank God he answered my prayer and
saw my dad through the waiting time..
She came out at around 4.45pm..
A Big..no wait..HUGE sigh of relief just
came out of my mouth..;)
I was so happy that she was ok..
But she had an oxygen mask on..that wasn't
good..Because I know another lady who said
that they'll only give you the oxygen mask
if you can't breathe properly and is
extremely weak..;(
I panicked..But was ok after awhile when
she spoke and said that she's alright..

She was in a LOT of pain and yet she asked
each of us if we had dinner and whether we are
ok..She must have thought that my dad and I
fought during the waiting time..haha..
Well..After settling her back at the ward..
Kiki came and kept me company..
Alot more other people came..
Like my uncle and his secretary..my aunty..
my mum's friend..and our favourite Desiree
and her friend came..;)

The next day though..RICHIE CAME BACK!!!!
He wore his army uniform and came..
SO HANDSOME!!!!!!!! I took pics of him..
I'm lazy to put them up..
Well anyway..I forgot what I wanted to say..

Because Shaunna came to my place..
And I can't multi-task..
Shaunna happened to read what I was typing
and she said.."So now it's Shaunna's fault?"
And so yes..IT IS HER FAULT..
;)

So I'll just skip to yesterday..
Went to fetch mum back from
the hospital and stayed at home..
Until it was time to go to church
for choir..I went and prayed REAL hard
and thanked God for seeing my mum
safely through the Op..;)
I almost cried there..but it was time to go up
and be with the choir..
I got upset halfway..I don't know why..
I took my anger out on Kiki as well..
and I felt bad..
To make things worse..I got off at the
wrong mrt station..Sigh..I felt like an idiot..
Oh well..

I'm too tired to write anymore..
After the 'long' week of holiday..
School reopens this week and I have no
choice but to GO!
But then I skipped school today.
Because my whole effing body was
aching very badly and so yeah..

I'm getting very sick of looking at
the com screen so yeah..

Tata..

2006-06-13T12:35:00.000+08:00

What is this??!!!!

My bro's away in camp..;(
But i'll be seeing him tomorrow
coz he's coming out for a few
hours..YAY!!!
I can ask him about the handsome
boy!!!

Mum's going into hospital today..
Sigh..I'm really panicky..
HOW??!!
I'm really stressed..I've gotta
handle my dad at the same time..
Oh man..That's it..
Today's D-day 2..

Ok..I have to help my mum
pack her things..
That's gonna make me feel like
I'm packing for her to go on a
holiday that I can't come along too..
?????!!!!!!!! OK ok...
I take that back..;(

I feel like just cuddling up
in Precious's arms and crying..
I can't take this already..
It's only because of mum
that I'm not drinking..
RAR!!!!

Oh! Yesterday I met Fazi to
knock some sense into her..
Her friend was there too..
I can't tell you what Fazi's
problem is..
But I can only say she's in
deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
shit..And that's why I'm trying to
do what I can to help her..
After talking..she decided to have a
retail therapy session and so yes..
This is where I help the most..;)
I helped her pick out her stuff and all..
I also got myself a $109 pair of jeans..
THEY'RE LOVELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just had to get them..;)
Hee..

Ok so anyway..
I gotta go and do my stuff..
So yes..

TAta..

I pray you'll be our eyes..
And watch us where we go..

2006-06-11T12:38:00.000+08:00

Sigh..
Yesterday was a real sad day..
My brother'd gone to army..;(
I've never been so worried and
I've never had the feeling of his
absence get to me before..
It's getting worse by the minute!!
But oh well..At least I saw the place
there at Tekong for myself and it's
really clean and stuff..The bed's comfy
and he's got things to do there..
But his blog? his email?
and all? No internet!!
He's gonna be real bored..
But what can anyone do about it,right?
At least he said he'd enjoy it for sure..
But I MISS HIM ALREADY!!!
I miss his loud trance music and screams
for no reason..and him taking my things
and saying that it looks superb on him..
Urgh..;(
I should've cherished all of that..
sigh..

Well anyway..
We went to Tekong and saw him off..
And I can't wait any longer..
I HAVE to say this..
I SAW THE MOST GOOD LOOKING
GUY IN SINGAPORE YESTERDAY!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was soooooOOOOOO damn cute!!!
I wanted to take a picture but how am I
to do that when he kept looking right in
my direction..????
Oh man..I kept thinking about his face..
SO DAMN CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!
He looked like a cross between the hot
Val Kilmer and the good looking
Ari Wibowo..(An indonesian actor)
His body was SOOOOOooooooooooooooo
HOT!
Oh my god..I can't take it already..
I HAVE to message my brother to look
out for him..MY GOD..SOooo handsome!!
OKok..I stop now...

But He was SOoo cute!!
Ok..know what?
Look at my brother..
When he wears those vintage sunglasses..
HE looks like Kanye West..I'm serious..
I'll show you next time..;)

2006-06-09T22:04:00.000+08:00

Kiki stayed over last night.

She left at 6.

I got ready for dinner with my family.

Went to eat at Friends.

Food there was alright.

I was freezing.

I kept thinking of someone(s).

Precious,YOU'RE AWAY and I MISS YOU!!

Precious won't be coming back till Sunday.

Mega boredom's heading in for me.

My father kept touching me.

I feel like roaring at someone.

Shall blog tomorrow.

Goodbye.

2006-06-06T14:50:00.000+08:00

GEE..
It's really been long..;)
Hmm..well..ALOT has happened
within last week and the present
week...
Have been having alot of fun with
Shal..Kiki..Qila..Sannia..and the
rest..They've been keeping my
stress breakdown away..
I just love them..;)

Well..anyway..I'm too
lazy to type about last week..
So maybe just bout yesterday..
Had Bio and Physics paper..
FROM 9am to 3pm!!!!!~!~!~!
Imagine that!
Jesus..I could've died waiting
for 2 hours for my paper to start..
Sigh..
Well anyway..I studied really hard and
so I mangaged to do the whole paper..;)
I'm talking bout Bio..not Physics..
When I get back tthe Physics paper..
I can go bang my head on the wall real
hard..;)
Oh..same goes for maths..hahaha...

SO..after my papers..I came back
ever so exhausted..But then I asked
if I could meet Shal and so I met them at
Bishan and we ate..and then went to
punggol Mrt to take train but then
we decided to stay there for awhile..
HAPPY HAPPY happy things
happened to Shal and Qila and
I'm so so happy for them..;)
WheeeeeeeEEEE!!!!
Congratulations to the both of you..
BUT why did they have to make it the day
before 6/6/06???
Crazy ah??

SO after that..we left and I came home..;)

That's it..doesn't sound fun to you but if you
were there..you'd have the time of your life
too..;) hee..

Oh,yes..They're coming over today too..
So yeah..It's gonna be more FUN!!!! ;)
Gonna take pictures..
(There will be more on Thursday..)
I can't wait to see the surprise Shal's
gonna do for Qila..;)
Ok..I better go tidy my room abit..
heh..

toodles!!

Yes..I am the green sweater that you want..

2006-06-01T22:46:00.000+08:00

Well then..
It's been almost a week since..

Been busy with Exams..
And let me tell you that they were all
F**king KILLER PAPERS!!!!!!!
English was a breeze though..
But the rest? URGH!
I even skipped out on MOS
just to study for the papers..
Yes,I'm a good girl..
I shall continue that crap and stay in
to study for rest of the hols while
looking after mum after her op..

Oh..speaking of which,Matt dropped
a few messages the other day..
He's in camp now I think..So my mum
wanted to ask him questions about
how to contact my bro in camp and stuff..
He's going in on the 10th..
And mum's op is on the 14th..
Matt said that he can just tell the superior
and he'll let him off on that day..Either
that or mum goes and tell the superior
herself and show proof..
But when mum came home and thought it
over..She cried and said,"I think it's best I
let Richie stay in camp.I don't want to take him
out coz he just went in.."
She really down now..and there are more
than a few reasons why..

1) She's extremely worried at the fact that her
little baby boy is going into NS in a weeks time
and is terrified because boys have died during
training..
(Hey..I worry about him too,k?)

2) If for any reason(touch wood) something
goes wrong with the operation..How would my
brother take it? Not to mention my dad and I..
I myself would be breaking down and how the
hell am I gonna see to a HUGE grown up man
who can't take serious problems??!!

3) She's worried about the cost of the op.She
feels like a burden to my dad..She feels like
she's the one causing all the problems but
she doesn't know that she's been put in this
situation to help mend things..No one out
of this family would understand..

4) My nasty old black grandma is getting
on her last nerve! That OLD FART!
Just because my rich and selfish Aunty
supports her with all the goodies..
She DARED to ask my mum about the
cost of the surgery...JUST so that
she could make noise about so much
money and attention going to my mum..

Like I said to my mum.."Hey..Grandma
thinks you're becoming some kind of a
popstar is it? She must be f**king
jealous then!"
Mum agreed..she always does..

Anyway..now my dad's being annoying..
You see..I've always been jealous about
my brother having better stuff than me..
And now my dad wants to get us all
a flat screen monitor..But I don't want it..
I'd rather have the money than the monitor..
I have so much use for the money if he gives
it to me..
OR..If not..why not get me a whole new com?
It'll be so much cheaper and I'm saving him
money..
Ah well..Have yet to talk to daddy..

So..I've got 2 more papers to go..
AND THEN IT'S FREEDOM!!!!
Woohoo!!!!!!!!!
Next Friday..we're ALL going to the
beach and I can't wait!!!!!
It'll be my first outting with EVERY
one from the gang! I swear it'll be
really fun! ;)
Wheeeeeee.....

Ok..I seriously need to think about
something..It's getting worse..
it's getting worse..it's getting worse..
it's getting worse..it's getting worse by
the minute and I have to stop it somehow
but how can I??
Urgh..

I'm tired...really really tired and I wanna
see my one and only..
soft and comfy..
nice-smelling..
ever so adorable BED!!!!!!

HAhaha....

San Damiano..

2006-05-26T17:39:00.000+08:00

Fed up fed up
Fed up fed up
Fed up fed up
Fed up fed up..
FED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stress and depression
is kicking in..
Anyone who tells me..
"It'll be alright..Don't
worry..''
Or worst still.."Relax.."
YOU ARE NOT
HELPING!!!!!!!!

Grrrrrrrrrr.....

Mid terms are next week..
Teachers have told me
what the papers consists
of and what kind of questions
are coming out..;)
Ok now THAT'S good..
At least it's not so bad..
But you wanna know what I'm
stressing about?
I wanna top the class..
I know I can do it..
That's why I'm pushing myself..
I have about..4 or 5 people
to challenge with but I'm gonna try..
No harm,right?
Ah whatever..

Dad's getting on my nerves too..
Whenever he asks me something..
I give him my reply and he asks
another question while I'm speaking..
Then he says.."Stop mumbling..I'm def..
I only have a pair of ears you know?"
OH MY GOD!!!
You can die living with these kinda
lunatics,I tell you?!
So now..I hereby declare that I am
only talking to my dad when I need
my allowance.Full stop.
I don't care if i'm being mean or whatever..
It's people like these that make me feel
like I should not have been born..
But oh well..
lunatics will be lunatics..
Can't help it,can we?
Nope.

Mum's operation is on the 14th..
Good news for the left side of her
womb,non-cancerous..
Bad news for the right.
Can't be seen..We'll know only
when she goes for the operation..
Thank God my exams will be over by
then..

Also..my maid is getting on my very.last.
nerve.
I mean..ok..If you take your towel and open
the bathroom door..doesn't that mean you're
gonna bathe? You know what my maid will
say? "Oh..you gonna bathe?"
And when I come home..and she's at the
market..she'll come back and say.."Oh..
You come home already ah?"
DUH!!! I'm F**king hell sitting on my chair
right??
I told her how many times not to make
milo and put sugar..
and still..................our friend here will put the
sugar..
I wonder how her ears work for her..

Anyway..Dad isn't giving me my full
allowance this week..
We know why..
My BILL of course..!
Rar!

Oh..let's not forget..
Precious..I'm very very angry with you..
I'm depressed enough and you still
make me feel like the kid and you're the
grown up..It's the other way round..
Don't like it?
By all means..make some ammendments.

Keep me as an apple of an eye..
hide me under the shadows of thy wings..

2006-05-21T21:43:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was extremely
annoying!!!!!
Shalini ditched me to go
Qila's house and she left me to
go to class alone..
I hate to go for lit. alone..
The people there....
asdfjkl;asdfjkl; asdjfkl;a jkdfl;
asjdfkl;jkdl
so yeah..INDEED I WAS F***ING
ANGRY WITH SHALINI!!!!!
Some more..She told me to call this
girl..Julie and meet her before class..
So I did..the girl was so kind
and said she'd meet me at atrium
just before class..and so yeah..
I went there..she wasn't there..
I waited..she didn't come..
I was already late for class..
SO I RAN THERE..and the
teacher didn't even start..
there were not many people there..
Luckily the girl I met on Thursday
in Bio was there..She kept me company
throughout the whole class..
Damn it man..Julie and I are so damn
irritated with her..
Shalini messages me after class.."Hey
Mel..How was class? Don't think that
next time you need a friend..I won't be
there for you k?"
I didn't know whether to throw my phone
in the dustbin or just throw it on the road.
pfffft..
But then after going to church and out,
I was alright..

Well anyway..today wasn't as interesting as
yesterday..I woke up at 12pm and then ate..
Then sat down in front of the com and did
move one bit till 5pm then I got up to
bathe and get ready for church..
Then my bro came to fetch us..
My aunt's away in China so she lent my
bro the car..He drove us to J8..
Bought food then came home..
I like my brother driving us around..
So damn cool..;)

Oh yeah..For those Pepsi fans out there..
Please..Only drink the Kopi Kola Pepsi if
you like the taste of the brown cough
syrup that doctors give you..The drowsy one..
Well..In my case..I enjoyed it..;)
Heh..Only Precious and my maid will know
why..

Well..tomorrow's boring boring boring..
But my mid years are next week and
so i have to study coz i can't let myself
down..let alone my dad..
So yeah..

Ok..the smell of chicken wings has
caught my attention..
Goodbye.

sancra gloriosa.

2006-05-20T11:33:00.000+08:00

Hooray!!
I've got my CDs already..
Happy is I..
But there's still one more
that I reserved at the store..
It's the last piece in Singapore..
But I thought I'd better think about
it first..Then when I came home..
I told my mum about it and she
said.."What are you waiting for?
Go get it la! " And so yes..
Today I shall be getting it..
But then I don't know..After class
it's church..then it's to another church
and by the time I finish church-ing..
It'll be about seven plus,eight..
And then Shalini can't follow me..;(

Then you know what?
Now she messages me and tells me..
"Hey..I'm not sure if I'm going to class
k? Will let you know in awhile.."
Oh man..I can't survive in class without
her..And if I don't go..I'm afraid of them
calling up my parents..Sigh..
Dillema..dillema..
I hate.

Well anyway..I'm gonna pray that if
I ask dad for next week's money in
advance..he won't make that much noise..
That's all I ask..Other than that..I don't
mind him making a little bit of noise..
Just not alot..

Ok now..off to eat then go..
busy day today..
I don't know where the energy is
going to come from..
Oh..That's what I have to pray for too..

Lux Aeterna..

2006-05-17T20:42:00.000+08:00

Ah well..
Today was rather alright..
But nothing much..
Class was irritating as usual
when Aida teaches..She was
flirting and all with the malay boys
(as usual)..Wait..Now there's a
new one..FAT BOY..
He's really interested in her and
keeps checking her out..
To the extent where he took pics
of her with his phone..
She only found out about it after
class..And by then it was too late..
FAT BOY ran out of class..
Let's see what happens tomorrow..

Urgh..I dread tomorrow..
LONG DAY...;(
I'm gonna be so damn tired..
I'll only be alive after 5pm when I get
to go meet Shalini and the rest and
at least have some fun..
It's been quite awhile..

Hmm..I'm still contemplating on
whether to wear a long sleeve shirt
tomorrow..Or just a t-shirt and then
a jacket over..
I REALLY don't know!!! And it's driving
me crazy..
Well..At least I have something to think
about..If not I'm gonna be rotting either
in front of the com or the TV..

I'm really happy today I didn't get a headache..
but I know tomorrow after coming out
of school at DG..My friend named Headache
will follow me to BM..
Hopefully panadol can get rid of him..Or her..
Ok..I'm beginning to talk rubbish..
Or have I already been talking rubbish?
Hmmm...
Let me know..whoever who reads my blog..
Ya'll better start tagging ah!!!!
Don't you dare leave without tagging!
You rude person,you!
Okok..heh..just kidding..
Kindly tag on the way out,yeah?
Thank you so much..;)

I'm glad to announce that my nails
have grown way past the longest I
kept them last time..
I should be able to get my french
manicure done pretty soon..;)

I can't wait for this pair of contact lenses
I'm wearing now to expire..
I really want grey-ish/silver-ish eyes..
I'm sick of the green ones already..
Seriously..I don't want a repeat of the incident
last time..I asked for green contacts and
payed for them..only realising the mistake I
made when I came home..The GREEN was
TURQUOISE!! Yucks!
I freaked myself out..(not to mention others..)
Ah well..

Can't wait for Friday..;)
5th month with Precious..
I love you..
OH! And also..I get my allowance
and I've got many many CDs to buy..
Hee..;) I'll be one happy woman..

Ok now..I'm gonna float in heaven
while eating ice cream..

Illuminosa Immortalis..

2006-05-16T20:29:00.000+08:00

Hi.Hello..
I've been really busy and
tired lately..
For some reason..I've been
getting headaches like..
EVERYDAY..After much thought..
I find out why..My class is SUPER
cold..The weather outside's SUPER
hot..Duh..I'll get a headache because
of the sudden change..I just thank
God I haven't got a fever..ok..maybe not
yet..

Anyway..Mothers' Day was alright..
Nothing nice at all..
Went to Coca at International Hotel
(Or is it the other way around?)..
It's a steamboat place..But you know
what? I've enjoyed every other steamboat
I had..Just not that one..The waitress will
come and put the raw stuff in the pot for
you..and stand there till it cooks..then
goes away..Then when you wanna check
when something's cooked or not..
The waitress will come and say.."Miss,ah.
Dis one not yet cook leh..better cook longer..
Wait you Lao Sai.."..Ok I don't know if I
spelt that Han yu pin yin correctly..
But whatever..You get my point right?
Yeah..So isn't it irritating? Where's the
fun in doing that??
Ah well..At least I wasn't paying for the
damn thing..so it's alright..;)
After that..we went shopping around..
With my Grandmother and Aunt..
And my dad and bro went home..
My dad was really nervous because
my uncle was tagging along..He can't
stand that at all..He's always been thinking
that my uncle will touch my mum and I..
Like what the ****..
Ah well..anyway..after that..my mum and
strolled around then went to Ps..
Got myself a pretty pair of denim heels..;)

Had something to eat and then went home..
Waited really really long for a cab and
came home and my dad started grumbling..
and yeah..

Oh..Speaking of my dad..
I casually asked him how much an air ticket
to London was..and he was like.."Why in the world
do you wanna go there? Who's gonna pay for your
ticket? Who's gonna go with you?"........ ... .... ...
And bla bla bla and all that..
F**king irritating!!!!!!
Then like that not enough..He went on about
how he's paying this and that and also for my
fees and bla bla bla..Sigh..
What can be done with these kinda people?
Just leave them and DON'T talk to them..
Yeah..so that's what I'm gonna do..
Not talk to him unless he talks to me..
So yeah..

Hmm..Today I went to school with my
pants in a knot..Because my teacher wanted
to give us all a Maths quiz today..
All because the boys behind were making so
much noise and one of them answered the
teacher rudely in mandarin..and so yeah..
The boy insisted he knew what was going
on in class and so this gave the teacher the idea
to have a MATHS quiz..We know him way too
well and we knew he'd set a tough quiz..
Well..you can say it's more like a test..
And so yeah..After studying so hard for it..
We did not have the quiz..;(
I felt like I was gonna explode in the seat..!!!
Grrrrrrrr....
Ass wipe.
tsk.

Came home with my friend named Headache..
Napped awhile and then Precious came over..
She's getting cuter and cuter..
But she's losing alot of weight..
Know what? I'm also losing weight..
By the end of June..I'll be half my size..;)
Wheeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok..I think I've typed alot..
I'm lazy already..

Pleni Sunt Ceoli Et Terra Gloria..

2006-05-11T16:29:00.001+08:00

It's been awhile,aye?
Been really really tired
and feeling like crap
recently..
Thank God crimson tide's
over..;)
Man..I had to wait until it was
over and only then can I
bleach my hair..
And so yeah..I bleached my hair
Yesterday..
After class..I came home then
Precious came over..
She helped me bleach my hair..
The colour was nice..only thing
is that there are several shades of
red in my hair..;)
Then we watch Charlie and the
Chocolate Factory..then lazed around..
Got changed then went to Ps..
Precious got her hair cut..
Now she has a cute little tail..
heh..;)

Saw the most perfect pair of jeans
yesterday..Too bad I was broke..
Ah well..Shall get it tmr or
something..
Went to book mum's appointment
on Sunday to get her pedicure done..
That's my gift to her..
She's getting a pedicure and foot soak..
So am I..;) heh..I've never gone for
a foot soak before..I've gone for a pedicure..
but not a foot soak!! So I'm really looking forward
to it..;)
It's too bad we're going for Mothers' Day
lunch..not dinner..;( If not..she can show off her
nails to my bloody old grandma and my aunt.
You must be wondering why I didn't book
an appointment for her on Saturday..
It's because they're fully booked and also..
I've got classes..So yeah..

I've been spending alot of time on 'you tube'
lately and I've fallen in love with Libera..
Oh my GOD!!! the boys are soooooooooo cute..
And some of the older ones are kinda
handsome..Ah well..They must be super HOLY..
They sing hymns and Mystical songs and stuff
like that..Cool huh?
That's giving me ideas for my wedding..hee hee..;)
Hey..it's never too early to plan your wedding..

Ok..I think I'm going nuts..
I'm bored because I skipped school today
beacuse I had a gastric attack this morning
and I'm really hungry and no one's listening to
me about my scrambled eggs
and I wanted to go buy a tub of ice cream
and mum says no because dad will eat
everything and I'm gonna get irritated
and get angry with him and don't talk to him
and he won't give me my money tmr and
I can't go shopping with mum tomorrow then
I'll have to borrow money from mum and it's
not good being Mothers' Day and all..
So yeah..
Whooooooot!

Ok..I'm really bored..
Gonna find something to do..
Ciao,darling!

Sanctus..

2006-05-11T16:29:00.000+08:00

2006-05-07T13:04:00.000+08:00

Well then..
Yesterday was another
fun day..;)
It's the 2nd anni of the togetherness
my friends and I have been having..
They've been supporting me physically and
emotionally all this while..and I'm
grateful for that..
We had a really long day out..

First I met Shalini at Ps and we
went to get her mum and qila
their Pearl earrings..;)
So sweet of her..
After that..we went to meet
Fido..Nori and Nadia at Wisma
and went walking around..
Then Shalini went to Novena and we
carried on walking..
Headed to Far East and met An Qi
there..had Mango Lingo and walked
around..Then we thought it being
Polling Day and all..We'd better go
reserve a table at Seoul Garden..
So we headed to Taka and
reserved a table..
We continued to walk around some more
and waited for damn long for Yani
to arrive..After much waiting..we decided to
go sit at the table first..and so yeah..
we went up..and after a few mins..
the Princess arrived with her sister..
heh..;)
Damn funny,the both of them.
We ate and ate and ate and ate..
And then..The Saturday Drama
began..I shall not elaborate more
but Only Yani and I will know what
the Drama is all about..
It's complicated..Annoying and childish..
I think even if it was a cartoon..A child
wouldn't wanna watch it either..
SO yeah..it's THAT bad..
Uh huh..

So anyway..we ate and ate..some more..
And so over all..we ate for 2++ hours..
I think..then we had desert..then left..
headed to the toilet to let out a bomb..
Then went walking around..Met Fazi and
went to Far East..After that..to Heeren
and then we we got super tired of walking..
(my feet were red and aching..)
So we sat down at some bench at some place..
An qi had gone home..
And we were contemplating on whether to
go for Shisha or not..
And then we thought..maybe some other time..
Yani and Nori can't take the smell of tobacco..
So yeah..
We headed home after that..;o
Watched Mtv Asia awards and I'm VERY
disappointed that Boa's not nominated this
year..SO NOT fair..Bloody dumb fucks.

Oh well..slept very well and then was
awaken by shalini's call..;)
Heh..She should wake me up every day..
That way I won't be so grumpy..
She's got this funny way of waking me up..
;)

Alright..I'm super hungry and after all
that eating yesterday..
I think I better eat just salad..;)
Tata..

Once again..you've proven me wrong..;)

2006-05-04T19:49:00.000+08:00

Today was fun fun fun..
Finally some fun
after so many dreadful
days..;)
Wheee.....;)
Had boring classes the whole day
though..
Had a test and yeah..
couldn't concentrate at all
because of the mother of all
headaches I had until I hate
a whole bag of candy then
my headache was gone..;)

Went to DG to meet Shalini
and Qila then headed to Bugis
to get Qila's slippers.. Heh..
I tell you..When Qila goes
shoe shopping..The sales girl can
lose alot of weight..
I think you know what I mean..
heh..;) She was damn funny today..
And then ok..
Let me tell you the disgusting part..
Halfway through shopping..
I felt funny..just wierd..
So I went to the toilet and checked..
And there it was..
Crimson tide has come FULL FORCE!
But I didn't have a..you know..
So I just took lots and lots of toilet
paper and just folded it and put it there.
;)
Smart idea..but not for long..
yeah..It dripped down like..
when I was walking home..
Haha..;)
I never felt so disgusting in my
life..
ok..and now it hurts..

Actually..On the real..
I'm so NOT in a good mood..
I had fun but I'm not having
fun anymore..
I'm in terrible pain..and I'm
getting very annoyed by it..
You better NOT mess with me..
Or I'll tell you things about
yourself that you never even
knew about..
hee..
And right now..someones getting
on my back..
And the sad part is..I don't know how
the F*** you f***ing look like..
When I find out..
I give you my word..
You'll have a piece of my mind..
For now..you better rest well..

images of the fun I had..

You're only almost here..

2006-05-02T19:30:00.000+08:00

Class was alright today..
The kids were super
hilarious..heh..although most
of the naughty ones didn't turn
up..must've overslept thinking
today was another holiday..;)
I ALMOST didn't wanna wake
up..I had a fever and was feeling
super weak..Ah well..
The old man will make noise so
I went..Lucky Pricilla kept me alive
with sweets..
Got to talk with my teacher after
class..;) hee..He's really nice..
Really hip and all..
He asked me where I was going
after class and I said to study..
He said.."Yeah right! Ya'll going
shopping right? huh?"
He then later said that he really
believed me because he has faith in me..
After all..only 6 out of 36 kids pay
attention..hmmmm...

Went to meet Precious after that..
Had the intention to study but it got
so damn cold and neither of us had the
mood to study..It's gotta be tomorrow
then..;)
So we walked around Suntec and looked
around..Listening to a couple of cds at
Tower Records..
Went to try stuff at Mango..and Levi's
and Giordano and Precious was so
patient and just stood there waiting
for me..heh..;)
So sweet..Thanks precious..;)
I love you alot!!

Came home and then had my dinner..
scalded my right thigh with the
hot soup..I gave a super loud and
high-pitched scream and mum and dad
came running in..
I couldn't walk because I was in shock..
so mum helped me to the toilet and
cooled the thigh..
I was in tears and my dad was panicking..
He said.."I think we should call the ambulance.."
I tell you..I couldn't have shouted a louder NO!!!!
My dad got freaked out then just went outside..
Now he's drunk..How am I gonna tell him
that I have to skip school on thursday for a
casting?!
Grrrrrr......
I hope my thigh heals by then..
If not..there goes another opportunity....
Ah well..It'll be better..
Thank God my skin isn't coming off!
Ok..eww...
heh..;)

i felt it again..
Thank you..;)

2006-04-30T15:09:00.000+08:00

NOW I'm in a bad mood..
I read your blog..
I'm not the best..
You say it to me..
You say that I'm great..
But it's not how it seems..
I know there are things you feel
weighed down by..
Do you realise it?
It's getting worse..
You think that by not telling me..
I won't know..
You're wrong..
To you..I have a life that's
spent with you..
To me..I feel like I've no life at all..
This weighs me down..
The fact that I always tell you things..
But you don't..If you haven't started opening
up..When are you gonna start?
Sometimes you only care about yourself..
Not me..not others..
You run to me when you need help or when
something's bothering you..That's fine..
But when I help you..You push it till later
or you reluctantly heed my advice..
That hurts..
The fact that you thought you can tell
the future..as in tell what I"m gonna do..?
That hurts..because it's not me to do something
like that..Understand?
you were so damn confident that I'd do something
like that..fine..
you weren't so apologetic..
Sigh..And you didn't exactly make it up to me..
You're getting different and different each time..
I'm getting confused..
Maybe you think it's fine..
But I feel strange..really..
Know why I'm not telling you about it yet?
It's coz I think I should wait..If it continues..
then I'll tell you..sigh..
For now..
Just go with the flow..
Don't try and make things better because it's only
up to fate..

2006-04-30T11:58:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was ALOT
of fun..I haven't seen yani
so hyper like that in a very
long time..
As for Ash and Shalini..HAHA..
;) You shouldn't put them
together unless you want
World War 3..;)
And OH my GOD..
Yesterday at Heeren..
There was this girl
all dressed as a pontianak with
the white makeup and long black
wig and everything!!!
She was soooo cool and amazing
and she acted real well..!;)
And then I told Ash to go grab a pic
of her and she did..
Only thing is..She was moving so much
and the pic was blur..
We were wondering what she was doing
and then this guy came and interviewed me
and Ash..He asked us what we thought about
her and stuff..And we gave our names..
And my name MIGHT come out in the
STRAITS TIMES...!! ;)
Whhheeeee!!! ;) I just hope it does..

Images of yesterday..

THere was something missing yesterday..
Precious wasn't there..;(
I miss her so so much..
I didn't get to see her
yesterday..
And I can't see her today and
tomorrow too..
Sigh..
What can I do to keep myself
occupied??
GrRRRrrrrr.......

Anyhow..not going anywhere today..
TOo lazy to..And Dad's being
a bitch..YES...a BITCH!

I know I didn't take care of you..
I know..

2006-04-29T10:16:00.000+08:00

Been busy the pass few days..
Sigh..
But I enjoyed being with my new
friends..;)
They rock!
Woooot!

Hmm..so anyway..
I've got class from 1 to 4..
(dread it but SHalini makes it sooo
damn interesting..!!)
Then after that..meeting Ash and
Anqi and GOd knows who else..
And I think we're gonna play pool..
Either that or I don't know what..
Heh..I just hope An qi doesn't
get irritated and start whining..-_-

Oh! I've just heard that my god bro
and his mum bumped into my ex..
Ah well..

Tata..

Trust me..
If you trust me..
You won't feel scared..

2006-04-26T20:36:00.000+08:00

-Class.
-Home.
-Napped.
-Compass Point-ed.
-Studied.
-Sent Precious home.
-Home.
-Ate.
-Dieded.

Hi.I'm in a terribly bad
mood..Thanks to Precious's
words..
Not gonna say much..
Just one question..
Is that how you know me by?
Alrighty then..
;''''(
You hurt me deeply..
Hope you see this.

Leave me alone..
just leave me alone..

2006-04-25T12:13:00.000+08:00

Hmm..
I don't know why but I
couldn't blog yesterday..
My com just wouldn't
publish my damn entry!!
Grrrrr...

Well anyway..There's time
now..so..we shall kill time..
Class was alright..Fat boy
didn't walk home with me today..
We took different buses
because he went off the
smoke..but the Fat boy smiled at
me and my friend..heh..;)
So round and rolly polly..heh..
Ok..I don't know what I'm talking
about..

I had no idea that Precious's
mid-years started already..
And I can still happily ask
her over and cooked for her..;)
She's no paper today but still
has to go to school..I guess the
teachers don't trust them to
study on their own huh..
We got the same treatment
last year..and I know how that feels..
And you know what?
I wish I was feeling it now..
as in really experiencing all that all over
again..I can only dream on..
The fact I should accept is that I have
to experience that some other place..
Where there's no one to push you..
Because they don't care at all..
Sigh..whatever..

Waiting for time to fly so that I can
get ready to go to PS with my mum
and meet Precious there..
Hope we don't bump into people
we don't wanna see..
That'll really be a bummer..
And yeah..my mum and I hate our
shopping time to be disrupted..
Take our word for it..

I cooked just now..
Just merrily whipped up something
not knowing exactly what..
but oh well..Dad says my cooking's
getting better..;) wheee...
I can cook 'complicating' dishes and
cakes and pastries and pies and..
Oh no..I have one more thing to learn
how to make..desserts..
Oh man..I gotta learn how to make
desserts by 5th of May..
Because the 6th of May is my special
day with my all-time favourite girls..;)
An Qi..Yani..Fido..Norizan and Fazi..
I hope everyone can make it..
I'm gonna stuff them with all my cooking..
MUAahahahaha..
Ok no..I'm gonna serve them food on a
nice silver plate and with platinum silver
cutlery and drink from tall antique
glasses..hehhehe..;)
Ok you what? I really don't know what I'm
typing and a U()#WRjioanskdl;asdb;ab
asdhjk;asd; i;asjdfkl jkl'id39q-jsop
hasd;kla ..
So yeah..I better go..

So..you'll take my hand..
Right till the end?
I'm saving forever for you.

2006-04-24T20:54:00.000+08:00

Ok..you know what?
I've been eating and eating
and I know I've said this
like..not long ago..
But I BETTER STOP EATING!!
Well..at least not in between meals..
I just got my arms toned and now
they're flabby-ing up..heh..;)
Gotta stop..gotta stop..

Class was alright today..
Except I went to 'smart mouth'
at some point and the teacher asked..
"So why do you think this is so,doll?"
I was like Wtf! I knew what he meant..
But yeah..I kept my cool and just
explained the thingy firmly but not rudely..
Bastard..

Anyhow..Came home fast to eat dad's
cooking..Mum and I were supposed to
head to town but then we got lazy..
I regret..We should've gone out and walked
off some flubber..heh..;)
We should tomorrow..
I really wanna go check out some things..
Shall have a photoshooting session with mum..
Hope my plans don't get ruined..
Hmm..anyway..Precious came over and we got
bored because there was no show to watch and
so we fell asleep..
then woke up and had chocolate cake..
I'm telling you..That's about 1kg and a half I put on..
Heh..;)
Then Precious went home..
And I ate somemore..All thanks to mum's
great stuffed mushrooms..
My GOD! I better stop..I really should..
Ok ok..enough..
Gonna watch Crimewatch..

This won't be long..
I will be strong..

2006-04-23T12:01:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was very much
a relaxing day..
But then again..hearing what
I heard from Qila was very very
disturbing..
Sigh..
How can I not let that get to me?
Double sighs..

Anyway..Yesterday after class
I went to meet An qi and the rest
came along..
We walked and walked and walked
around..The initial plan was to go
to K-ster but then I had NO mood
at all..I wanted to shop..not go singing..
Hmm..after that Yani and Marissa
came and we met them at Far East..
Yani was SUPER duper excited to see
An qi..heh..;) You should've seen Yani's
expression..haha..Damn hilarious..;) ;)
Anyhow..after that An Qi and I cabbed
back to her place and I saw Jay JAY!!
;) He's soooooo adorable..
Headed home after that..

Hmm..was supposed to go to Venus's
BBq today but then I got so tired..
And I didn't really fance travelling all the
way to East Coast..and (imagine this)..
Paying 10 bucks to eat the food there..
Eat shit..Why would I do that?
I mean..Ok..it's your birthday..
If you want people to pay to eat there..
No way in hell are you gonna get much
pressies..
heh..So yeah..instead..I'm going to church
at 2 with my mum..
I don't know why I suddenly wanted to go..
but yeah..I'm not going there for the wrong
reasons like I did before..I'm going there
to clear my mind and pray for
forgiveness so that my doubts can be
cleared..

I dread coming back tonight though..
I heard from my mum that my Dad's
very very angry with me or my bill..
It's 140 bucks!
I better pay him back..
sigh..

Precious..I don't know how else to
put it to you..
I just can't message you so much..
I've been trying so hard to tell you that
but you keep wanting to know this and
that and how am I not to message you??
One day when my phone gets taken
away..That's when you'll find it really
hard..
But then you know what?
You only tend to tell me things by sms..
When you talk to me on the phone you don't
talk much..
;(
This is getting bad..
I hope you prove me wrong..

It's just so wrong..
so very wrong..

2006-04-20T19:11:00.000+08:00

Classes this afternoon
were alright today..;)
Got to see my new friends..
and made another new one
I think..:)
They're all nice..

Thank God tomorrow's
class is at 11am..not 8..
I hope Dad tranfers my money
to my account tonight..
I wanna buy a new pair of
heels that I've been eyeing
for a week or so!
They're really lovely and I
HAVE to get them!
If I don't spend my money on
other things..then I'll get
another pair..woo hoo!!!;)
I better have all the fun I want
until Sunday because I really
gotta start revising..
NOW I'm shitting in my pants..
I better not screw up again
this time..
If not I have to work day and night
to pay daddy back the thousands of
dollars he's spent on me..
I don't quite like to even think of
that..so yeah..
I've found the most perfect place
FAR from home to study..
and I think it's gonna be frequently
visited by me..No one can make a sound
there..unless of course you wanna
get out..

Oh yeah..I think I have to stop eating
from tomorrow onwards..
I've been craving and consuming for
too long..all because of Crimson tide..
and it better stop before I complain even
more about being fat..heh..

I'm super shacked right now..
As usual..And I better sleep
early..NO wait..I'll sleep after
the malay scary show I always
watch..

Tata...

I'm on my own..
A million miles away..

2006-04-20T09:47:00.000+08:00

Sigh..I got up so early
to get dressed and left the
house late..
Got to class and the clerk told
me that the teacher cancelled the
class at the last minute because
she was admitted into hospital..
I just hope she's alright..

Waiting for mum's 'specialty'
spaghetti..She better hurry because
I gotta leave for Dhoby Ghaut in 20
minutes!! I really really really want
time to pass really fast..really really
fast..
At least I get to eat today..but I
don't wanna sit through the 2.30
to 5 class!!! I can die in there!
There are no windows and I'm
very very scared of closure..
I know there's a word for it but yeah..
I CAN'T spell it!
So nevermind..;)

I'm really tired..
I don't know what's
keeping me up on my two legs..
Whatever it is..If it's gone..
That's it..
Oh well..Off I go..

Trust is all it takes..
But people make mistakes..

2006-04-19T20:49:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was Precious's
Birthday..Poor thing went
home not finding a cake
but only to a family that
was family..
Siblings fighting..her mum
getting angry at them and
her dad not being home..
So today after class..
I rushed home and made a
small cake for her..
Brought sparkling candles
along for her too..
Surprised her with the cake..
;)
Today happened to be our
4th month too..So yeah..
a 2 in 1 celebration..heh..
So we ate the cake and
ants had their share too..
Man..there were alot of them!
Anyhow..I had alot of fun with
her..She's really more patient than
anyone else can be..She sat down
while I tried many many pairs
of shoes in the shops but not
buying anything..Gotta wait till
pay day..;)

Anyway..tomorrow is THURSDAY
which spells HECTIC DAY for me..
Jesus..I'll be out from 8 to 5pm..
How am I gonna get through the day..
I have absolutely no time to eat..
I can't even take a piss..
No..I mean it..I can't..
I can't be late for class..If not the door
will be locked..thanks to late comers..
Grrrrr....

Hee..;) I love Precious..

2006-04-18T21:56:00.000+08:00

Oh my God..
My head's spinning..
I'm not blaming anyone
but myself..
It's just so DAMN easy
for people to just take
advantage of me..ain't it?
hmm?
The best part is that there
are so many ways..
Here's how..

1) You do something to hurt
me and decide that it's not
important for me to know..
so you just keep quiet..

2) You do something to hurt me
and purposely don't tell me so
that I can find out for myself
later..and then get hurt..

3) You do something to hurt me
and just keep it to yourself when
you actually need to tell me but
you're scared I might blow up..

4) You do something which is
VERY much obvious to other
people that it's hurting me
but you do it anyway maybe
because you think you're not
doing anything wrong..

See what I mean?
These things happen to me
most of the time..
I just thank God it doesn't
happen like..continuously..
But I can tell you one thing
though..
I'm getting pretty upset and
sick and tired about this whole
thing..
I can tell you who's doing all this
to me..
I can tell you that it's not intentional..
(Duh..you don't know that you're
hurting me)
I can tell you that if you were to know
who was actually doing all this..
You will NOT AT ALL believe who
it is..
You will say that I'm over reacting
and that I'm just paranoid..
Well F**k you..
I'm not..
this is getting all over me and I'm up to
the point where enough is enough..
But the sad thing is that..
I can't do anything about this..
At least not for now..
Reason being..You have important
things to take care of and so do I..

But I hope you get my hint..
I hope you realise soon...
I hope you realise by yourself
the things you've been doing
to me and God knows who else..
I'll give you the benefit of an
adult if you can see for yourself
what you're doing..
If not..maybe you'd like a taste
of your own medicine..
But on second thought..I'd rather
not..
I'd like the benefit of an adult too..

Whatever it is..
I hope we both know what we're
doing..
I hope I can refrain from
doing what I wanna do..

You take things a little too
lightly..
Or perhaps..I take things a
little too seriously?

WHY ARE YOU SO BLIND?
WAKE UP!!!

2006-04-18T14:27:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday
Precious!!!!;)

Precious is coming over soon..
She's stuck at the bus stop now
because it's raining..
Shall go wait for her to take her
home..;)

Got up on the wrong side
of the bed this morning
but went to school because
I had to..
Oh..there's a new teacher and
oh my god..He reminds me so much of
one of my exes..
They speak the same way..walk the
same way..have somewhat the same
facial features..body shape and all that..
I got a shock when I first saw him..
Oh man..I have to face him every Mondays
and Tuesdays..
At least he's funny..and you know what?
He has got to relate most things to sex..
Either that or to either a female or male
genital area or other parts..
heh..Actually..it's a good pick up in the
morning..
NO..I'm NOT a sex maniac..heh..
Oh..but there's this boy in my class
who started telling a story of how this
guy in NS screwed another guy..
And they used butter...for you know..?
and then the teacher said.."They used
butter? Not KY-Jelly?? My goodness..
Lucky none of this happened when I was
in NS.."
Haha..my GOD! I don't see how this is
related to Maths..;)

Well anyhow..after that..I went grocery
shopping and came home to make
Precious's Shepard's Pie..
It's my mum's recipe but I made it
myself..
I was looking through the cook books
and I told my mum I wanted to make
something by myself tomorrow and
I heard my dad say.."Oh shit..here we go
again.."
Fine then!..I'll cook for just Precious and
myself..you pieces of shit..

Argh..Yesterday An qi had a thousand and one
job interviews and we travelled almost around
the whoooooooole of Singapore and we were
wearing heels..My feet are aching terrubly and
I'm considering whether to go for a foot
massage tomorrow..
Hmmmm....

Ok..I better go check on the pie and then go
get ready to get Precious from the bus stop..
My womb is hurting..sigh..
Pls don't tell me crimson tide's coming..

I sense something..
I feel like something happened and someone's
not telling me about it..Although I need to know..
I feel like someone's hiding the truth from me..
Because of fear that I might blow up..
Are you keeping something from me?
I think you are..
I better be wrong..
Because it's beginning to hurt very much..

I'm sorry but this is the way
things are...
If you don't like it..do something..

2006-04-16T23:57:00.000+08:00

I think I don't have to say much..
The pictures are enough to show how
much fun today's Encore2 was and how
glamourous it was..;)

Today was hectic..
Tiring..Fun..Hilarious..
And what not..I'm starting
to miss today..
I didn't have so much fun
in a long time..I mean
in the band..
The fun started from the time
I got to school until the time we
all left from dinner at Compass with
Beryl..Marissa..Yani..I mai..Nadiah..
Des and Precious..;)

Well..all good things come to an end..
And yeah..Everyone has to go back to
school tomorrow..
sigh..I HAVE NO CHOICE..
Oh well..at least I'll go and just sit
there and pretend to be in the class
but actually I'm galavanting..;)
Meeting Anqi at town as soon as
class finishes..She's got 2 job
interviews..
But i'm broke..sigh..how to go
shopping with her?
She seems to be rich now..
Now that she's working and I'm not..
Hmmm...nevermind..Window shopping
would just do..;)

Off to bed I go..
I'm super shacked..
but it's all worth it..I swear...

Everything's gonna be alright..
Everything's gonna be ok..

2006-04-15T23:51:00.000+08:00

Sigh..I've not been good
at all..I've been missing classes
simply because I just didn't
feel like going to school..
I was trembling since morning
since I saw the message on my
phone from my dad;

Your sch just called..Seems to me
you're missing sch! WHY? I spent
so much money for your fees for
this and that and this is how you
repay me? You better have a good
explanation!

I'm telling you..my heart just shattered
at the thought of what I'd done..
My face became pale and Precious was
there to see my classic face..
I never felt this horrible about myself
in a long time..
I was trembling all the way in the
cab to sch..If not for Precious
sayang-ing me in the cab..I'd have
flooded the cab..
Anyhow..I got to class and told Shalini
everything and teared while talking to her..
After class we went to Long John's to eat
then headed home..
Today when I didn't wanna be home on time..
I am..but when wanna be home asap..I'm not..
Hmm..ah well..Murphy's Law,I guess..

Anyway..I got home and things weren't that
bad..or so I thought..
I went to my room and mum went ashdf;jkl;ds
asjdkfl;fjkdsla;jkl;asfjkls;asjdkfl;jkd
jfjkdls; jkls;fjk jkdls;fjkld jkl;jfkl;sasjdkfl;as dsfa
asjdkf; and then you still like that...so how now?
hmmm? hfjdksl;ajkdls;a jklds;ajsdkl;????
Ok yeah..that was her..she was the one not
angry but rambling..as for my dad..
I think he was way too frustrated to even say
a word..
Actually I was surprised he said 'Hi.." to me
when I said hi to him..I apologized to him but he
didn't say a word..he just nodded his head..
Then my mum pushed me to go talk to him and
said that he was waiting for me to speak to him..
You know what? I did..At least I tried..
He told me to go away and to leave him alone..
and so I did..
So I went to bathe and got changed to go to
Compass to get my blazer for the concert
tomorrow..
He shouted at me and god knows what he said..
I just walked out..
Oh my God...
No I'm not cursing..I'm asking for help..
Sigh..

In other news..;)
The concert's tomorrow!!!
I can't wait..but I don't want it to be over..
It be the last time I perform with them..
(I think)..Unless they decide to have
another performance with the Alumni..
Man..I love that band sooooo much..
No matter how busy I am..I'll still make the
time to go down and see them play..

My plans for having breakfast with Precious
tomorrow has failed..I haven't been alone
with her for a very long time..
But then..I can't do anything..
She's going to church..

Sunshine fades to grey..
The second I'm away..
Minutes turn to hours without you..

2006-04-14T22:41:00.000+08:00

Back from towning with
Anqi..Haven't seen her
since the o level results
day..She lost alot of weight!!
Heh..I asked her how she did
it and she said just stay home and
eat as little as possible..
Hmm..

We actually planned to go K-box
but then being Good Friday..
It'd cost a BOMB to get in there..
So then we wanted to play pool
but it was packed and there were alot
of people so Anqi and I left her friends
and went to Far East..Shopped around
until finally I got myself a turqoise top..
hope to wear it out soon..;)

There's band tomorrow and I'm sooooo
looking forward to it..;)
I get to see Precious..I get to laugh my head
off with my whole section..they are the reason
I still go back for band..
My arms are gonna ache even more than
it already is because of the cymbals..
Well..there's only one more day..(tomorrow)
then it's the CONCERT..
I can't wait for it..

I'm damn shacked..
My arms hurt alot..
I'm itching for Mos Burger..
And I'm damn shacked..

Oh yeah..here are the pics of me and
the ever-so-cute Anqi!!!

2006-04-13T21:57:00.000+08:00

I really wish I didn't exist
for the past week or so..
Things have been so
different..
And things happened for the
wrong reasons..at the wrong
time and at the wrong place
with the wrong person..
Everything was just so wrong..
I was wrong..You were wrong..
It was wrong..
Wrong wrong wrong..
BUT..I think it won't be wrong
if I had a few scars on me due to
my anger and hatred..

Two words for you,BITCH..
Eat shit..

Wait wait..I can't hold it in..
You ARE shit!!

I can't wait for tomorow..
It'll be just me and the girls..
The ones that are gonna cheer
me up and soothe me because
Precious isn't able to be there..
I love her no metter what..
She's the reason why I wake up
with my heart still beating..

;'(

I knew it was too good to be true..

2006-04-12T20:23:00.000+08:00

Got up this morning feeling
abit..I don't know..
just not right..
Something was missing..
Something felt strange..
I found myself thinking
about what I'd be thinking
of before I fell asleep.
Sigh..it's just haunting..

Anyway..went for class today..
It was kinda ok..
Came back home then Eunice
came over..
Then we went down to the pool
to tann and dip for awhile..
After that..we came up to eat
then we headed out..
I went to SJC and Eunice went
somewhere else..she's tutoring a
kid..!! wow..!! ;)

So yeah..spent the whole day in
band and it was super funny..
I really didn't want practice to end..
Easwary..Nadiah..Christina and Imai
and Kamini really made me feel
so comfortable in band..I spent the whole
time laughing at easwary..and exchanging
dirty looks with precious..;)
Went to compass after that and had ice
cream..felt so contented but we all had to
go home..
Precious and I were sad..really sad..
but things just had to be like that..
Sigh..

I'm really shacked..
But then again..I can't wait
for tomorrow's band practice..;)
But I am sooooo not looking forward
to helping mum make her damn
hot cross buns..
Damn it..
I'm gonna fall asleep on the kitchen
table..I don't care..

Why do you do this to me?
Hmmm..maybe it's because you
haven't the foggiest idea what you're
doing..

2006-04-10T23:21:00.000+08:00

Her hallucinations are
getting worse..
She keeps talking about
dead people..
She asked to see me
for the first time in 4
months..She insists that
my brother is up to no good..
She insists that I'm still 6
years old..
She realises that she's at our
house instead of her..
She realises that my mum
sleeps next to her and not her
own husband..
But what's more hurting..
She's asked for her dress..
The one she wore for her 25th
Wedding anniversary..
She's asked to be cremated in it..
She actually said that she wants
to be cremated..
Grandma..hold on for as long as you
can..

My mum nearly had a relapse..
My dad is preparing vodka
non-stop..
I wish for some..
I wish to go with my grandma..
Things just get harder and worse
each day..
And there's nothing I can do about..
Actually..there is..but..
I'm super confused..
Part of me wants it..Part of me doesn't..
But sooner or later..I know I
have to put my foot down..
But I'm afraid it'll start a conflict..
And so then it's back to square one..

I don't think you know what I'm talking
about..You'll be glad to know that I don't
either..
I only know that I'm planning on
skipping classes the whole week and
take some time off to think bout
stuff..and things like that..
Another reason for skipping classes..
I've gotta practice for the concert this
Sunday..
It better be good..It's our first
performance ever at VCH..
I know the pieces fairly well..
There's only one thing to worry about..
Stagefright..
Yup..I have stagefright..
But I'm not letting it get to me on the
day itself because I love that band
too much to ruin things..
I just hope it goes well..

Tomorrow..Precious is coming over..;)
Before that..I'm following mum to
go get her cake stuff and she's gonna
get me some hair styling equipment..
WOo hoo...about time!!!! ;)
Hmm..for now I'll try and keep myself
happy..don't really wanna think about
stuff..I just need to rest and
be by myself...
Oh..then again..maybe that's not
exactly the brightest idea..
Now that I'm NOT afraid of pain..
Ah well..

There comes a time..
When we head a certain call..

2006-04-07T11:03:00.000+08:00

Sigh..I miss these girls..
I've only seen one or two
of them recently..
But the rest? The last
time was the day of the O
level results..;(
That sucks..you know that?
I know when they said
we were going our seperate
ways..I didn't know it was gonna
be that bad..;(
Ah well..

This whole week was so hectic..
And nice..and.. .... ................ .....
....... ............... .......... ................. . . .
. . . . .. . .. . . . .. . . ;)
so yeah..
you don't gotta know..

Waiting for Eunice to come
over..Then gonna go for a swim..
Precious is gonna join us later..
Poor thing..She's not feeling very
good..I know just what she wants..

Ok..you know what?
I'm super shacked..
Lied so I won't have to go to class
today..
SO yeah..
For now I've got alot of thinking to
do..
I'm really confused and tired..
But I have to force myself to think anyway..
Grrr,pls..

I lie to myself..
Not to others...

2006-04-05T10:53:00.000+08:00

So there was a change back
in plans yesterday..And I did
go out with Yani and Ash after
the old hag's lunch..
Cheenapok people! Rar..
And so yeah..
I came home after lunch and
had a few more hours to go
till I had to get ready to meet
Yani and Ash..
But Ash called like very early..
and said.."Mel! Can I meet you now??
I need to get away from town!"
I shall not say what she was running
away from..but yeah..
Melanie to the rescue..!!!!
Met Yani after meeting Ash..
then trained to town..

Walked around for a lil' bit..
then headed to Far East to eat..
Then Yani decided that she wanted
her fried Mars Bars..;)
It looked like ...................but it sure
tasted like heaven..heh..
Ash had her Mango juice which she claims
is better than sex..Haha..
I still wonder why and how she came up
with that comment..
SO..we sat down and I stole a lil' bit here
and there from them..
That's when all the fun began!!!!!
We had like..a major photoshoot..
And most of them were of Ash..;)
Yani got really excited in being
the photographer..She made aLOT
of funny noises that really got to Ash and she
go so histerical...and of course that got me
histerical..;)
There are much more pics of Ash and you
know what? all 80++ pics are gonna
take up alot of space!
So yeah..

Will be meeting Precious and
the girls and we've alot to talk about..
Hopefully things go well..
But anyhow..I sense some inevitable
trouble coming our way..
Ohhhhh boy..
God be with us later..
Tata..

F**k what I said..
It don't mean shit now..

2006-04-03T20:02:00.000+08:00

Ok..change of plans..
Not going out with Ash
and Yani..
ALL BECAUSE OF my
grandmother who
insists on having a birthday
lunch instead of a dinner..
Why not hmmm? Upset
everyf**kingbody's schedule..
My aunt and uncle have to take
one-day-leave from work..
My bro too..
I had to push my plans forward..
My dad doesn't have to do anything
because he just drinks the day away..
Ah..F**k it..

Well..on a happier note..;)
I just helped mum bake an
orange flavoured cake
for the most irritating grandmother
on earth..And I baked a vanilla and almond
flavoured cake for my family
as well as another small one for Precious..
(All by myself..)
And I made a pretty darn good mess in the
kitchen..(I cleaned it up of course..I had to!)

I dread waking up to go to class tmr..
Grrrr....
I'll just pretend the people there are
non-existent..except for the nice girl that's
soooo nice to talk to..;)
I'm broke..
Hence,no corn soup..no nothing..
Just make the bloody trip to school
and make the same bloody trip back..
And then off to lunch..
Hooray.I.get.to.be.camera.man.tomorrow.

In my fantasy..
I remember their faces..

2006-04-03T14:02:00.000+08:00

So yes..Hello..
Last night we had a dinner
at my place..My uncle and
cousin came..my bro's
friends came..and yeah..
Didn't call anyone to come
because I was feeling like crap
the whole day..
Didn't even go to church in
the morning..sigh..
I'm a BAD bad person..
Seriously..
And I don't know what I was
thinking and overdosed on
the 'super McDrowsy cough mixture'..
Sigh..I felt like I was drunk in an
instant..
Thank God I'm not going out with
Ash and Yani today..
It's gonna be tomorrow..
Woo hoO!!!
Shall steal daddy's cam tmr..;)

I woke up this morning
feeling really weak and tired and
lousy..I looked at the time and
it was 1pm..I realised that I missed
class this morning..And
you know what?
Daddy decides to make things
slightly,or should I say,Worst!
He added BRANDY to the SOUP
I just had for lunch!!
Oh..did I mention earlier that I
overdosed on cough mixture????
Rar...!
Did he think that the Brandy-adding
thing would help make things better??
Ohoho!! he's right about that!
I feel GREAT! haha..
Didn't see that coming, did ya?
heh..
And no..I'm not an alcoholic..
It just so happens that I feel better but
still feverish..and weak..
Grrrr....
But even so..I can't meet Precious and
thr girls tonight..
I think I'll occupy myself with work..
I haven't seen Precious in almost a
week..;( I miss her very very badly..
Sigh..I miss everything about her..
EVERYTHING! sigh..
I hope tomorrow will be a better day..

Please wrap me in a towel..
and throw me into a dumpster..

2006-04-01T23:04:00.000+08:00

Just got home from dinner..
It was quite a nice place..
I saw Sarah Hoe..She works
there..but I don't talk to her..
so yeah..
Didn't talk to grandma ONE BIT..
I just talked to my uncle and his
friend..
My bro's friend was there too..
Took pics..(as usual)..
I heard my grandma mumble
something like.."............
...........pregnant?" while looking at me.
She thought I couldn't see???
I only looked pregnant because I was
wearing a baby doll top? It's loose at
the tummy area..So that concludes I'm
pregnant?
Boy..you gotta watch it there Grandma..
I'm not your innocent little grand daughter
no more..

So anyway..
have a look at my family..
the whole bunch of us..
the way we are.. ;)

2006-04-01T18:07:00.000+08:00

I don't know how boys
wear shoes and dirty them
so damn bloody much in
just one day!
I was ina hurry and when
I went out to the shoe rack..
MY GOD!
My converse high-cuts
turned from white to GREY!
F**k! I was so pissed..
On the way out I called
and complained to mum
and she said she'll have it
cleaned until it looked brand new..
and you know what?
She's the best..It looks good as new
now..;)

Went for class..Was alright..
Pretty interesting actually..
Heh..;)
As usual..the bimbos
waddled their way in with the gays..
And the fancy pants people
walked in..With their noses any higher
up in the air..You can see their nostril hair
and what nots...
Hmm..so anyway..Shalini and I were
contemplating on whether to go for class or
not..Then again..we decided to go..
If not I would've felt guilty..
Seriously..I better get down to it as soon
as I get a hold of myself..

Shalini said I was super hyper today..
I don't know why actually..
After she mentioned it..I realised it..
And it's not at all like me..
Ah well..
I got irritated after class though..
I got so damn pissed..
But I don't want that person to know..
I don't wanna take it out on that
person..Sigh..
But..
ARGH!!!
There are limits to everything!!!!
STOP when you're told to!!!

Anyway...so..
We're all going out to dinner later..
At gardens..
My family..(including the paternal
gramps...'CRAP' is the word to describe
them..)
There's gonna be a fight that will
accumulate to other fights and so..
My dad's gonna lose his temper..
So's my aunt..My grandma? Well..
She's the shit stirrer so all she does
is just sit and start fires whenever she
doesn't have her mouth full of food..
My uncle? I'm not sure if he's gonna
be there..After all..He lives in his own
world and my dad forbids him to
talk to my mum and I..Mainly because
he thinks that my uncle is in love with us
and wants to MMmmm hmmmm with us..
For God's sake..What's my dad's problem??
So yeah..
Later's gonna be super crappy
and I DON'T WANNA EAT WITH THEM..
All I want is to go to Ice cube and have some
niiiiiiiiice ice cream..
I don't wanna get invloved in whatever
gang bangs they plan on having..
I'm really tired..(literally)..
and I want the BED!!!...
But NOOoooo..
We're bloody hell
leaving soon and I can't catch a few winks
after the long class today..
F**ker is you..Really..

We'll see what happens when..
One of us is gone..

2006-03-31T12:16:00.000+08:00

Hi..hello..
I know I've not been
blogging for quite some time..
I've been really busy these
days..;) And I enjoyed it..

On Tuesday..
We went to Hilton Hotel
for a superb and excellent
dinner..We had the attention
from every single one of the staff
at the restaurant..Partly because we
were the only ones there..and they
were very pleased to know that
my parents got married there 25
years ago..
I don't know why they were so excited
and everything..
The F&B manager came to talk to us..
(Boy,was he good looking!!)
The waiters and waitresses came to
talk to us..
(All not good looking..)
And OH MY GOD!!
The Chef came to talk to us..
(Now THAT'S good looking..) ;)
He asked us if we wanted to have a look
at the menu..So we were like.."Ok..sure."
Then after that he said..
I think I'd rather compose a menu
for you..and we were all shocked..
He looked really young..He said he started off
working with a michelin at 15!!
Oh man..!! He's really REALLY good...
Every dish that we were served..had some
alcohol in them..
(Yeah..I loved that alot..)
We had champagne and red wine and vodka..
(some in the food and some we drank)..
And by the time dinner was over..
Mum's face was super red! And dad
was talking rubbish already.. (Because he drank
alot already before going there...)
But my brother and I were still sober..
You know what?? I could never mix drinks..
Like..wine and something else..Or beer then
drink something else..
But now I can..I don't have to worry on my
eighteeth birthday..
Hmmm..So anyway..
We took pictures and I might put them up
tonight or something if I'm free..
I just keep forgetting to put the pics up..
Grrr...Will do that soon..

On Wednesday..
Skipped class in the morning..
Went for casting in the afternoon..
Came home..then went to meet Precious and
the girls for dinner..
Met most of the sec 1 juniors and I thought
they were alright..
But they acted very strange..
Then on the way home with Gris..I met
Emmelyn..Merissa..Clarissa..Gillian and
Cheryl on the bus..
Talked about band and stuff and I
heard that the teacher in charge is not
really keen on alumni performing..
Sigh..She just mentioned a couple
of weeks ago..that the band was too small and
needed people!!! Now she changes her mind..
Urgh!! I was thinking and maybe it's because
of favouritsm..Either that or not many want to
perform..Sigh..
Whatever la..Even if it's just helping them carry
the instruments..or helping them with this
and that..I'd be most glad to do it..
I love that band..
And that's what you do when you've been committed
to something for a long time..
Gee..

Yesterday..
Was my hectic day..had to run here and there for
classes and URGH!!! I didn't have time to eat
anything..But stuff really occupied my
mind so I didn't think much of feeding myself..
Hmm..Was supposed to meet Skye after classes
but I couldn't make it in time and so she went home..
I could've met her at the station near her house
but that bum didn't answer my calls and messages..

So Today..
I've to meet her outside her school to
pass her the stuff..Her school'd soooo FAR!!
(You owe me big time..SKYE!!!)
After that..I'll be heading to town
to meet my mum and go find my book..
Then maybe I can push a little here and there
and get her to buy me some stuff..;)

I know that Precious is upset that I can't
meet her today..
She wished that yesterday after her swimming
heats..I'd meet her and give her hug
but I had no energy to..
She wished that today she could meet me
and spend some time at my place..
But I have to go look for my stuff
and she's got extra classes..
Oh well..
I hope the absencemakestheheartgrowfonder
thingy work for us..;)

Off I go now..
My hands are shaking..
Sugar.I.Need.Before.I.Collapse.

Sing out a song and I'll be
there..By your side..

2006-03-30T21:44:00.000+08:00

I know this is super duper late..

By a week..

But hey..I was really busy this

whole week..

Pics of the SJC Awards Ceremony

2006 ahead...;)

2006-03-27T20:47:00.000+08:00

WOo hoo hoo!!!!
I asked my dad where
we're going tomorrow..
It's bloody hell gonna be
super grand..
Damn it..We're going
to Hilton!!!
I've never in my 17 years
of life heard or been told
that my parents' wedding
was held at Hilton..
Man..!! I was so damn shocked!!
I want my wedding to be held there
too!!
Well of course..it's not gonna be as
dirt cheap as it was back then
when they got married..
Ah..whatever!
I can't wait to go to Hilton!!!!
WhEEEEeeee!!!!

Hmm..so yeah..
I'm super bored now..
Waiting for my show
to start in a half an hour's time..
Urgh!! I'm so restless..
Ok..Precious called..
bye.

And baby..everytime you touch me..
I become a hero..

2006-03-27T16:41:00.000+08:00

Sigh..
Now that Dad's home..
I can't do this..and I can't
do that..
I can't go out in the evenings
just to go to Compass and see
Precious and the girls..
I can't go out come back home as and
when I like..If not the talk about
the house being a 'hotel' will start
again..RAR!!

My brother of course, on the other
hand gets to do whatever he wants..
Because he's already 21..!!
Hmm..Can't wait for the day I turn
18..at least it'll be legal for me to do
this and that..without them getting
in the way..
As for the late nights..I very much
DOUBT things will change..
Well..maybe just a little..if I oush
my way out of it..Like I always do..;)

So yeah..Tonight I can't go to Compass
and meet Precious and Imai..Nadiah
didn't go to school I guess..
And tomorrow..Precious is free in the
afternoon so she'll come here then at
night..(OH, my GOD..I can't wait for
this..) At night..we're going for my
parents' anniversary dinner..!!
Woohoo!!!
Wherever we're going..it's gonna be
super grand and high class..!!
Hey..this opportunity doesn't always
fall in out hands k?
It's their Silver anniversary and it's
GOT TO BE good!!..;)
Oh! And I'll get to have dad's digicam
and take pics here and there..
That'll keep me occupied and
ignore the questions about classes..
Considering the fact that it's
CONFIRMED that I can't quite classes
eventhough they know how disgusting
they are and stuff..
Hmm..but then..thanks to Precious's
advice..I think I'll just continue the
dumb classes..and keep listening to
Precious's advice..
Thank you so much Precious..
For being there for me all the time
with no doubts whatsoever..;)

You know what?
Now when I want to tan..
It just keeps raining and raining..
Even if the sun's really bright and
sizzling..it doesn't stay that way for
long!..WHY???
I need to BAKE!!
Oh well..
If Precious feels like it tomorrow..
We shall go swimming and tan..
If not..watching Corpse Bride is no
problem at all for me..
;)

Dad's calling me out to eat satay now..
I'm full already!! Oh man.
By the way..I heard him mention
to my mum that he's glad to see me
a little more chubby..
NOOOOOOoooo!!
Sigh..so sad..
I gotta do something about it..

Thinking twice bout the satay now..
Hmmm..

I know I can..
Be what I wanna be..

2006-03-26T18:50:00.000+08:00

I don't know what's
wrong with me..
I suddenly feel like crying..
I don't know if it's because of
my crimson tide..or something
else..
Argh!!
I just need company...
sigh..

I heard my Dad's flying from
Hong Kong already..
Going to the airport later..
Man..I've this excitement
feeling but also a hair-raising
feeling..
I've this thing about going to
the airport..
When I go there..I always feel like
something's going away from me..
Or like..Urgh..I don't know..
It's just a disturbing feeling..
;(
Ah well..
I have no choice but to go
because there's no one to
accompany my mum..
RAR!
I just hope I can go to
candy empire and phsyco
my mum into buying lots of
stuff..
I know I sound like a small
kid..but..You would resist
a WONKA MUD CHOCOLATE BAR!!!
Or whatever you call it..heh..;)

Hmm..
So off I go..

Whatchu gonna do?
Act a fool..!

2006-03-25T23:56:00.000+08:00

Today was superbly fun..!!
Haha..don't know if there's
such a word..;)

Precious came over in the
morning..Was supposed to go
swimming but then we got
lazy and there wasn't enough
time..So we just drank Milo and
watched some tv..
She headed to school and I headed
to school too..
Met Shalini and went to class..
We were the first ones there so
we took pictures..
(Precious lent me her cam to take
pics of the band during the awards
ceremony..)
Left class early to go get roses..
There was this shop which sells
nice lilac roses..they were dyed..
But they looked real nice!
I got the whole section red roses
including Gris and a Purple one
for Precious..Wanted to get a few
more for others but they were SUPER
ex!!
Hmmm..Cabbed to school..
Had trouble going in thanks to
the DAMN TURTLE CHOW!!!!!
Her bloody mouth is full of enough
rubbish to fill a whole land fill!!!!

Anyhow..we sat down..
We as in Me..Linda..Shalini
and her friend..
Saw Sherianne sitting nearby..
She's a hottie (and have always been)
and I think Precious has the hots for her..;)
Sat next to her and chatted away till the
awards was over..
Then came the performances..
Woo HOO!!!
the performances were great!!
But not as great as the Band's!!
They really rocked the whole hall
and they looked super cute..
I really nearly teared because I miss being
a member of that band..
It was the only reason I look forward to going
to school everyday..;(

So anyway..
Oh my GOD!! After th awards ceremony..
The girls ate a hell of alot of food!!!!
It was free..(thank GOD)..
And they just feast-ed like no one's
buisness..!! HAha..;)
I can understand..They were really really
hungry..
Met Sherianne again and took a
pic with her...THAT's what Precious likes..
She kept saying that she was cute! haha..
So unlike her..
Well..at least she said she was MUCH better
looking than @^&#Y(@$Y*(@$....

So yeah..after that..took
pictures after pictures after pictures after
pictures after pictures..
Then finally we decided to walk to Compass..
We were shouting to lil' Ash across the road..
She was on the other side with her friends..
We reached there..
And poor Patrick..and Lil' Ash..;(
They had a heart to heart talk..
It wasn't easy I know..
But..I feel so sorry for them..
They're stuck..Sigh..

Treated Nadiah..Imai..Lil' Ash and Patrick
to vanilla cones and I ate corn..
heh..;) and Nadiah discovered something..
Corn and Mcflurry taste great when eaten
together!!
It's tried and tested by me..It's good..!
I swear!..heh..
After that..Patrick had to go home..
so Nadiah..Me..Imai and Precious
went to Esplanade..
walked here and there..took
LOTS of pics..
And you know what? some of them were
'scarey'..The way I took the pics..
was like..as though..One pic was alright
and the next was exactly the same thing
but it looked like a ghost appeared in it..
haha..;)
It was really 'scarey'..but funny though..
Then we all headed home after that..
I guess you can only see the pictures
to know what fun we had..;)
The pics will be up soon..
There are soooooo many..

Anyway..I'm kinda disturbed by something..
I mean..I HAVE been disturbed by something..
And I'm really annoyed..
And I shall not portrait my anger here..
No use,anyway..

Shall sleep till the afternoon heat wakes
me up..
Hope it rains so I can't wake up till evening..
But then again..NOT possible..
I'm bound to wake up from Dumd dreams..
You know what? I just remembered..
DAD'S COMING HOME TOMORROW!!!!!
AHHHH!!!!
Going to the airport at 11 something at night
to get him..
Whhee!!!! Shall go to Candy Empire and get
stuff for everyone!!;)

ok..the bed's calling me...

I only speak the truth!..

2006-03-24T19:51:00.000+08:00

Didn't get baked today..
Beryl and I decided not to go..
The sun wasn't hot enough..
Ah well..
We need to go real soon ok Beryl?
I'm dying to get baked..Very very
baked..;) I'm sure you do too..

Anyway..Precious came while I was
cutting my hair in the toilet..
I got really scared because I thought it
was my mum..
If she sees me with the scissors in my
hands and cutting my hair..
She'll curse me to become BALD..
haha..
So yeah..I thinned out my hair and
chopped some parts..and layered it..
Gonna lighten the colour soon..
It's not red anymore..it's BROWN!!
Grrr...

Had fun with Precious today..
Was supposed to go swimming
then I got lazy and didn't feel like
going..
So she just made Bandung and
watched tv with me..
We watched this show and there
was a scene where the husband
was tied up by a prisoner who escaped
and put in the corner and his
wife was F**king the prisoner!!
In front of him!!!
With noises and everything..
haha..
Disgusting,balls!!!

Hmmm..
So tomorrow is one of my
first classes and I'm freaked out..
I don't know if Shalini and I are in
the same class..
I'd really appreciate it if I'm in the
same class as her..
Her friends are like SOOOOoo
cool and funky..
And they're easy to talk to..;)
After that..I'm going to the Awards
Ceremony..
From what I hear..It's gonna be a
BLAST..heh..
It'll be my first time not performing
for the Awards Ceremony and to be
honest..It's upsetting..
I miss being in that band..
I really do..I love that band alot
and I'm always gonna love that band
till everyone I know passes out..
I'm scared though..of the things
some of my teachers are gonna say
to me..
Ah well..

Can't wait for tomorrow!!! ;)
Woo HOO hoo!!

Some things last forever.
But not the things I want to last forever..

2006-03-23T21:22:00.000+08:00

Deep inside I wanna cry..
But I'm gonna be tough on
the outside for the sake of
others..
Yeah..it's the pride talking..

Tomorrow I wanna get really
baked..SUPER baked..
Then jump into the pool..
Ahhhh...........
That's gotta feel pretty damn good..;)

Please excuse me...

I'm holding on to you..

2006-03-22T23:28:00.000+08:00

I.am.tired.
I went for class and
then came back home..
Filled my tummy with
porridge..(urgh!)..
then headed to Bugis to
collect my shoes..
On the way..I saw Steffie..
I know she saw me..
but she didn't look up at me
until I walked pass then her friend
just gave me the looks..
Ah..whatever man..
You sucked..
Don't know about now..

Headed to Compass after
that and met the girls..
Ate blueberry waffles..
Then sent Precious home then
went home..
See? my day was so boring..
Tomorrow's gonna be interesting
I guess..It's gonna be hectic though..
But I'll be meeting a friend whom I've
not talked to in a long long time..;)
Them after that..I get to see my 2 new
funny and bubbly friends..;)
Woo hoo!!

Tomorrow'll be one week since..
Since I lost my mind and
just fell apart after that..

This sucks..!

GO and sleep la!

How wonderful life is..
Now you're here..

2006-03-21T21:35:00.000+08:00

Got up this morning with
my right eye tear duct
infected and swollen..
It hurts when I blink..
Grrr...

Oh..here's a shout out to IMAI!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY IMAI!!
I love you!!;)

Class was alright today..
This girl I met at Zouk that day
asked for my number..
I just hope she doesn't give them
to the other two malay boys
(or more) she mixes around with..
One of them sat beside me and
and kept asking me this and that..
AND HE SMELT LIKE SMOKE!!
(I really needed a bucket/plastic bag
at that time..I think you know why..)
After that..I had to satisfy my craving..
Had my well-deserved corn soup and
just stonned and looked at the people
who were walking by and looking at me..
Headed home after that..

Had an ever so long nap..
Was supposed to meet Precious and
the girls after their school which was
supposed to end at 2 something?
But they were held back so I met them
later..Hence the long nap..
Oh yeah..the dream..
Whatever your conclusions and thoughts..
Save them..Just believe me..
This dream really made a HUGE impact on
me..till now I can't stop thinking about it..
AT ALL..
It's really very disturbing..
Imai,Nadiah,Precious and Gris have been told
bout the dream already..They laughed..heh..
In a way it's funny..but scarey if you were me.
This involves some of the classmates from
last year..(Karen De Costa,Callixta,Samantha,Kristle)
and some of the girls from band..
(Imai,Wendy and Mable)
and one of my other friends..Skye..
OK..here goes..

We were supposed to go clubbing..
The dream didn't show where..
We had to walk pass this secluded back
alley to get to the entrance..
We walked in a row..I was one of the first
with Callixta and behind me was Imai,Wendy
and Mable..
Skye was the very last one..
So we walked and halfway through
we saw something really revolting..
It was a torso of a naked woman..
No legs..No arms and No head..
Just her torso.
Her legs were spread and she looked like
she'd been raped..
I screamed and then Callixta started screaming
when I pointed to the body..
(Here's the thing..
In my dream..It did state that during that period
of time..There was a serial killer on the loose
and every other day,there were bodies being
reported..unfortunately,we discovered the latest
one..)
Behind us..was Imai..Wendy and Mable..
They started screaming and holding on
to each other..
They freaked the crap outta me and I
ran to the back and grabbed Skye and
cried to her..
She just stood there,shocked..
Then I heard someone in front scream my name..
I realised it was Wendy..
I ran back to the front..
(Apparently..there happened to be this large fan
that was uncovered..So that means..If you were to
put your head there,R.I.P)
And Mable and Imai were having a panick attack
and they couldn't take it and wanted to kill
themselves..
They were fighting to put their heads near the fan..
Wendy tried to pull them but fell..
I held on to the both of them and pulled them
back as far as I could..
Karen was holding onto my waist and was pulling
me back..Callixta was holding onto Karen and
doing the same thing..
(Mind you,this was all happening really near
the poor chopped woman..)
We managed to pull them away
and I yelled at someone to call the police..
God knows who it was..but she said,"We can't
call the police!! We'd be notified in the papers and
they'll wanna know what we're doing here! Then
our parents will find out we went clubbing!"
I yelled back.."What?? There's a dead body!!
We have to call them..You wanna go to Juve
knowing that you didn't report the murder
and they're accusing you??"
She called the police without answering back..
By then..it was 6 or 7a.m.
We were all being questioned individually..
and some of us were napping..
I happen to wake up and found Skye on my
right and Wendy on my left..
I asked Wendy where Imai and Mable were..
They weren't anywhere around us we started to
panick and thought they were dead.
But we walked out f the alley and saw them..
(this is the part Imai found reallyy funny)
I ran to Imai and Wendy ran to Mable..
I cried to Imai and said.."Imai!! Please don't die..
I love you so much!!" And then I hugged her real
tight and Wendy was crying to Mable..
After that..I dreamt that I woke up but
in real life I was still asleep..
I dreamt I woke up and Skye was right
in front of me..
When asked what she was doing there..
She just said.."Oh..I came to get my Ipod..Thanks!"
and then she went off..
That was when I just shot up from bed..sweating..
I panicked and ran outside to my mum..

Man..that was the WORSE dream I ever had..
Now whenever I go clubbing..This will be in my
head..
F**K..
It's freaky..It really is..Sigh..

After that horrifying incident..
I went to RM to meet the girls and
Sakae sushi-ed and talked..
Then headed to Hougang Mall
and bought stuff..
Then came back home..
Still having shivers of the dream..
AHH!!!!
I'm scared to sleep tonight..

Ok..my fingers are tired now..
Hope you have a nice sleep..
Yeah you will..

I regret this..
I should've resisted..

2006-03-20T16:39:00.000+08:00

How the hell can I do a test
when the dumb 'Yindian' teacher
was asking me about my race and
what mix I was and all that???
Gee..lucky we didn't have to hand
it in..
All thanks to the skinny geek
who said.."Teacher..I have a date.
may I please leave?"
Can you imagine?? The teacher actually
dismissed the class because he had
a date!!! haha..
Oh man..what's the world coming to??

Ah..anyway..have I mentioned that I'm
addicted to corn soup?
Well yeah..I am..
And it's gotta be ONLY Mos burger's
corn coup..;)
I'm eating less and less now..
And I know why..
No wait..I don't..
I'm just eating less and less..

Gonna get my ears pierced again..
You know? The more there is..
The happier I am..?
It is so..
The other day at Romp..I saw
Angelina's pierced tongue..
Hmmmm..-Deep in thought-
Nah..better not..
I've caused enough commotion
at home with my dad already..
If he can get super worked up
because I cut my own fringe..
You know the straight one?
Yeah..if he can get so nervous
(I don't know why either)..
I think..No..It is NOT a good
idea to pierce my tongue..

My parents' Silver anniversary's
coming up soon..
BIG THING..
Gramps and all are coming..
(DUH)..They have to be invited
to EVERYTHING..
And so..once again..the drunkards
are coming and they're gonna
be questioning me and
NO WAY am I gonna sit there
and take it..
I will answer them back
as firmly as I can..without being told
that I'm being rude..
Wait..Is that at all possible??
We'll wait and see how things go..

I wanna go tanning..
I need to drink very badly..
I need to talk to someone about something.
But I can't bring myself to..
Because I know where the conversation will
travel..

I have to go bathe and get ready to meet the
gang..I think..That's if
Precious did ask them to come..
Oh well..

I should've known..
This was NOT gonna be easy..

2006-03-19T20:57:00.000+08:00

Yo ho!
I think I take back what
I said just now..;)
I let myself fall..
But I know how to pick
myself up..
I'm over it..

Anyway..
Didn't do much today..
Just kept thinking about
alot of things..
Last week wasn't so bad..
So this week's gonna be better,
I hope??
I know tomorrow I'm gonna see
that girl I saw at Zouk that day..
She recognized me..
But for the love of Christ..
I couldn't remember who she was
until she said where she was from..
Ahhh..Then only I knew who she was..
Anyway...There's an open-book test
tomorrow..Shouldn't be a problem..
Unless I can't remember this and that..;)

I'm really excited for next week..
Nadia says they need people
for the drumming performance..
WooHOO!!!! Hope she can make it..
And I hope it's a success..

You know what?
I just realised..
The SJC awards ceremony's on Saturday..
And I CAN'T MAKE IT!!!
I've got classes on that day..
Damn it..;(
I can't skip it either..
F**king Asswipe!!
Grrrrrr...
I so so SO wanted to go and support the
band..
Hopefully the timing doesn't clash..
Or maybe..I might be able to leave earlier..
Either that..Or I'll leave immediatly and cab
there..
Sigh..So much trouble all because of an asswipe!
RAR!!

I heard my dad's coming back soon..
That means hell..
He'll start his drinking and getting pissed
and causing trouble here and there for us..
Oh man..
But then..I'm gonna try my luck asking dad for
a new phone..
I hope he gives in because I really really want a new
phone..No wait..I NEED a new phone..;)

And woo hoO!!
I'm losing weight..
I can wear the clothes I got 2 or 3 years ago
without looking obese in them..
Good good..Operation "sticks" is in progress..heh..;)

Alright now..
I need to clear some stuff and pack my stuff
for tomorrow..

embrace your fears..

2006-03-19T14:29:00.000+08:00

Why,mel?? Why??
You know you're not
that strong..
You knew the consequences..
But you still went ahead and
just let yourself fall..
Now,you're drowning and there's
no one around to help you..
Even if there was anyone..
Nothing can be done if you don't
surrender yourself..

I've nowhere to run..
And so I'm stuck.

2006-03-18T12:50:00.000+08:00

Woo hoo!!!;)
Went swimming with precious
just now..
She came over real early and
slept while then took almost
and hour to change and go
downstairs..
Ryan came when we were about to
leave..So we decided to stay longer..
We played around and he
pulled the string of my bikini top!!!
haha..Lucky I had a float covering my
front..If not???? heh..Well..at least I
have boobs now..;)
my mum was pissed at him for doing
that..Oh well..he deserves it..
Had so much fun with Precious..
Thank you sweetheart..for coming so
early..;)
You know what? I'm darker now..
I've a white ass because of the tan.
heh..I find it really funny..;)

Going out for dinner later..
With Ryan and his family..
It's Ryan's birthday today..
Can't really care less..
Because he nearly pulled my bikini top
off..haha..;)

Alright.I'm getting lazier now..
Gonna stop blogging and watch
Sweet Sixteen..
ALL the BITCHES!!! heh..

I so hate myself for doind what I did..
but somehow..It felt so right..

2006-03-17T21:24:00.000+08:00

I think I've not been blogging
for awhile..
Oh well..
F**k it..

Anyway..for the past few days..
I've been terrified..
I've got phobias of this kinda things..
I don't really adapt THAT fast..
Hmm..But I took some time to think
and realised that I've been terrified
for absolutely nothing!!
It turned out alright in the end..;)
Thank you God..
You really answered my prayer..

Yesterday was super hectic though..
Had to go to 3 places..
Nearly had a panick attack because
of the hurrying here and the
rushing there..
Ah well..But no complaints..
It turned out alright in the end..
Now I've 2 more new friends!!
After all that..went to meet Skye
and headed back to my place with
her..She took a nap and I changed
then we headed to Zouk..
CROWDED!!!
I think almost 3/4 of the kids
in Singapore was there..heh..
Then you know what?
I'm so smart la right?
I forgot my I.d..So I cabbed all the
way back home..
Actually it was a good thing..Because on
the way I fetched Ash and then headed
back to Zouk..SO so so smart..
wasted 20 bucks!!
But Ash is gonna pay me half the fare right?
heh..;)
So anyway..there was trouble here and there
in the entry but in the end we got in..
Man..I really feel super bad Imai..Wendy and
Cathy couldn't get in..I felt super bad..sigh..
;(
My phone died when I went in and couldn't
reply them and they needed help..
Hmm..It was fun fun fun at first..
Then it got super packed..
Skye's friends are really really nice! ;))
and Skye too la..heh..
I'm never wearing those shoes to clubbing
ever again..
My toes are RED...!!URGH!!
Well anyway..they played every SINGLE
one of my favourite songs..
And Ash dances so cute...I never saw that side
her at all..
Sigh..I really wished Precious was there..
She'd have loved it so so much..
Soon alright,my precious..?
After all that romping..
Came back home with Skye and died on the
bed..Was kinda disturbed by what Precious said..
But then again...........hmm..
Woke up this morning..
Skye went to meet her friends..
And I lazed around and then went to check out
something at somewhere..
Then headed to Bugis..(Was not dressed nicely..
I didn't think my mum will ask me to go there!!)
And so went there to meet her and my uncle..
Mum bought me a nice vintage puma bag..
Woohoo!!
Then headed to Ps and ate the hot dog I craved
for again!! ;)
Then headed to Toa payoh and then home..
Man..
I.am.super.shacked.and.my.feet.ache.alot..
SO......Who wants to give me a foot massage??
anyone??

Ok..I'd dead beat..

I know..you know..
and no one else has to know..

2006-03-15T22:21:00.000+08:00

I don't want this
ANYMORE!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-03-14T23:17:00.000+08:00

Dear God,
I promise to go to church
every Sunday starting from
this week.I promise to be
faithful to you no matter
where I am or what I do..
Please forgive me for I've sinned..
Only with your help and
strength,will I stop my wrong and
bad actions.
I've failed you many times
in this life you gave me,I know.
But you always seem to be be
keeping me alive,and by that,
I know you believe in me
and that I deserve chances.
I have not been grateful for
anything you've done for me and
I'm sorry.
But I know I'm grateful for that
one very these very special gifts.
My family.My friends.
You've taught me from young how
to love and care and to practice
all the values and motos in my life.
Yet,I don't do it..I pushed aside what
you taught me and decided that I
have no time for you and that I will
guide myself throughout my life.
I'm wrong and I've proven it.
I think you know what I mean?
I need you.Now.
And I'll do anything..
Anything..for you to make this pain
go away but at the same time
tell me that this is all my fault and that
I've been ignoring your messages.
I just want my doubts to be cleared.
I need you to tell me that I can do this and
It's going to be alright and over soon.
I'm crying out to you,Lord.
In your own time,and if it is your wish,
please help and guide me.

Amen.

2006-03-13T15:32:00.000+08:00

AAAAAAHHHH!!!
The first day was quite
alright..except for some
inconsiderate guys..
Oh..As I expected..
There were Bimbos!!
Uh huh..Two of them..
That's right..and some geeks..
heh..Alright!! I won't be mean..
But the bimbos..They @$&*($
@&*($*(@$ @$&*(@&*@#
@*#*@&#*(#..and then they
@#&)@($&*@ &@()#..

Precious came to my house
and then brought me for my
first day..she knew I was
freaking out..and she knew how
to soothe me..
After that..I took the bus with
her to school..And you know what?

Oh man..Just about 2 or 3 stops
after we boarded the bus..I
happened to look at the mirror near
the driver's seat and noticed that
he was staring at me Precious..
WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING!!
Just falling asleep because we were
relly tired..
And so I told Precious that the driver
(an Indian driver who looks like a
drug addict) was looking at us..And
she noticed it too..
And I asked her if she tapped her
card and if I did too and she said
yes..we did..
So I thought ok..Maybe he was
looking at something else..
But then after awhile..when I
happened to look back at the
mirror..He was motioning to me
something like..He was trying to
say "What?! huh?? What?"..
Man..who was looking at him??
We weren't even looking at him
AT ALL..I didn't think much of it..
(By the way..we boarded the bus from
Amk and got off at Sengkang..)

Half way through..at Hougang..
He was still staring!!
He stared all the way till we got down
at Sengkang and then you what
happened next??
When we got down and walked
near the the front door..
He SHOUTed!!
What the F**k!
He shouted.."Eh what the F**k
ya'll staring at man! HUH?"
Then he shouted something else
which I couldn't really make out..
He shut the door and drove off..
I was really VERY very angry and
I should've shouted at him but
Baby was in her uniform and
the school was right there..
Didn't wanna get her in any trouble..
So anyway..I called the SBS transport
complaints department and told them
exactly what happened..
Gave them my serial number and she
traced where I was and at what time..
I described what the man looked like
and told her what she said..
Boy..It was hilarious,the way she repeated
it to me..heh..;)
I hope the man gets a trashing of his life!!!
WOooo hoo!!
I felt like such a grown up..;) wHooot..

So anyway..I HOPE tomorrow turns out
alright..
I think I should go talk to the girl
whom I thought was nice..
Hope she's somewhat like me..;)
After that..I'm gonna drag my
mum to go get me a new bag..
Vintage,you know?
And we're gonna find my book..
I'm telling you..
Shakespeare is an ugly old HAG!!
I mean was..an ugly old hag..

Tata..
I have to take a crap now..

I never felt like this before..-Stacey Orrico.

2006-03-12T17:09:00.000+08:00

Images of yesterday..

There? The monkeys...;)

And they were dancing....

Lol..;)

Aww........:)

2006-03-12T15:00:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was smashing!!!
My wish came through..
I did have a great time with the
girls..(and 2 which aren't exactly girls)..
Felt so great getting high and hyper and
just laughing my head off..
and doing stupid things..;)

So yesterday..Precious came over first..
Then we went with my mum to bras
basah to get my stuff..Then parked our asses
at a cafe and had an ice-cold drink..
It was super hot and I couldn't take it..
I just kept whining and whining..
And I think Precious got fed up with
all the whining..and she just kept saying..
"Ok..ok..We'll be there soon.."
heh..;) (Sorry Precious..But thanks for
putting up with me)..
Then..coincidentally..my distant relative
popped into the cafe..So she sat down and
chatted with us..As usual..They talked about
each other's parents and bla bla bla..
After awhile..Precious and I realised that
we had to meet the rest at Raffles in 45 mins
and I didn't even get to go bugis..
I die die wanted to go there and get stuff..
And you know what? Everytime there was
silence at the table..I'd try excuse the both
of us..but each time I opened my mouth..
They'll start talking..It happened like..
about 5 times? We took a good 10 minutes
getting out of there..and both of us couldn't
stop laughing..I mean..It was really funny
if you'd seen it..

So Precious and I rushed over to bugis
and I ordered a pair of nice shoes..;)
But too bad I can only collect it in a week's
time..Can't wait though..
Then we rushed to take the train to Raffles..
Met Nadiah and Jac..and Griselda appeared from
nowhere..heh..Then waited for Imai
but after awhile..we figured she was already and
VCH..couldn't contact her at all because she'd lost
her phone..

So we headed to the place..On the way..there was
this ice-cream man..He was chanting "Who want
ice-cream,who want ice-cream"..
Then Nadiah said softly "Don't want"..
And the man said "Don't want,Don't want la! What's
your problem!"..
Oh man..He must have had a bad day..Either that
or a bad hangover considering the fact that
according to Nad..He's perpetually there at the same
spot near Boat quay..
So we reached the place and then went to grab a
seat..Imai popped into the seat next to Precious and
we got a shock..heh..
The concert was superb..Especially the last
part.;) They were really cute..

After the whole thing..We went outiside of the
concert hall and went to meet Gaya..
Gave her cheeks a good pinching..heh..;)
Wanted to talk to her abit longer..but..Ah..
nevermind..
After that we went to Lau Pa Sat and ate ALOT..
Had stingray..Lots of satay and fried rice..
It was alot for us,Man!!..But it was good!

After that was when the fun started..;)
We walked to the train station but made a few pit
stops on the way..
Fancy 5 girls walking through the CBD area and
singing hymns very very loudly and entertaining
one or two souls? heh..;) that's what we did..
and just outside one of the buildings..there was
a camera and inside there was a security guard
just sitting there..
Nadiah here..knew that there was a camera there
but still she danced and waved at the camera..
She seriously didn't see the Guard there..AT ALL..
So she continued dancing and dancing until we told
her bout the guard..Only then she kept quiet and
ever-so-fast past the building..heh..her face was
classic when it was red..;) ;)

Then we stop at this area near the train station and
took pictures..;) Whatever we did was so hilarious and
dumb and we acted like monkeys!!...one thing we're
good at!! heh..We laughed too much and we had to
pee really badly..Took shots of them dancing on the
way without them knowing till I took the last one
then Imai saw..;)
Took pics in the toilet too..We were that hyper..
We really looked and acted like a bunch of
drunk monkeys..But I had FUN!!
We headed home after that..
Was really shacked but for some reason..
I couldn't really sleep..Kept tossing and turning..
Maybe I'm nervous about tomorrow..?
I don't quite know..

Sigh..I'm really bored now..
Watching tv and changing the channels every
5 seconds isn't exactly fun..
THERE'S NOTHING TO WATCH!!!!!!!
Oh wait..there's a vcd we've yet to watch..
Ok..' got something to watch already..

Sayonara..;)

I'm shining like a candle in the dark..
When you tell me that you love me..;

2006-03-10T22:48:00.000+08:00

Just a few hours ago..
I got really really pissed
I felt like slashing my arm
and running around the house
screaming in pain..
But..It's strange how a book can
turn your mood or feelings around..
Although the book's about girls
slashing their arms..snorting drugs..
screwing around and some ending up
in a mental hospital..It made the anger
and whatever else I was feeling go away..
The book made me realise the consequences
of doing irrational things to myself and
getting angry over something small..
But you know what?
It's alright if I get angry and sensitive and
emotional..
My crimson tide's not arrived YET!!!!
That's why I've been like that for quite
some time now..
I thought things over after the book
and concluded that..I'm gonna give you
the benefit of an adult..I understand this
is your first..I understand..
But how come it went smoothly before..
Oh right..the problems come eventually..
I forgot that part..
Just please...Think before you do things?
At times..you think about yourself..and
only yourself..You do..I'll explain it to you
if it happens again..For now..I'm tired..
And I'm just gonna let things pass me by and
not get to me..Just this once I'll let it get to me..
Sigh..I'm beginning to be immune to all this..
Oh..no..I take that back..
This is just gonna accumulate and one day
it's just gonna come all over you like an
avalanche..

Was speaking to one of my friends on the
phone..I blurted out how I felt and everything..
She claimed she understood what I was feeling..
But is she really? Ah well..
I told her that I've not been out in a long long time..
As in..Having lots of fun..And she agreed and said
she felt the same way too..That she wanted to go
out here and there and then relax at Sentosa..
Maaaaaaan...Am I dying for that..;)
Maybe one day next week..since they start their
March hols..I really can't wait for that day to come..
Hope this time they don't back out at the last minute..
But you know what? Just in case..I'm not gonna
count on it and get my hopes too high up..
It's only gonna happen if they're not tired..or
having this on..and that on..
Hmmm..I'll just have to wait and see,I guess..

Moving on..tomorrow..St.Margeret's Band Concert..
Man..I can't wait any longer already..
Call me a freak or whatever..
But it's been a long time since I heard a band
play..I know their Band's a Gold with honours Band..
They ARE gonna sound really good..;)
Before that..I think I'll be meeting Precious and
Yani abit later on then go to the concert hall..
I hope to go galavanting after that..;)
None of us have a curfew I think..
Woohoo!!!
I'm gonna try and ask my mum if she can
Give me my allowance 2 days before hand..
If not..a broke girl tomorrow I'll be..;(

Hope things go smoothly tomorrow..
Oh yeah..I'm not supposed to get my
hopes high..Gee..

Mend my heart..Will you?

2006-03-10T12:48:00.000+08:00

I'm in aloooooot of pain..
Every muscle in my body
is aching very terribly..
But somehow I'm
satisfied..hee..;)
Thanks to the gym yesterday..

My mum's epidural went alright
yesterday..
Waited for damn long just for a
fifteen-minute procedure..
Thank God for my book and Ipod..
Or else I would've died..heh..
After that we went to eat..
Well actually..It's been quite some time
since my brother..my mum and I
have sat down and ate together..
It WAS WIERD..But oh well..
I enjoyed the moment..Although
it would've been better if my dad was here..
But then again..I always ask myself..
What/who does my family consist of??
Ah..forget that already..

Watching Mean Girls on Tv now..
GOOD! At least there's ONE nice
show to watch today..heh..;)

Gonna meet the girls later I hope..
For dinner..Looking forward to having
a good laugh with them..

Time doesn't erase things..
People erase things..

2006-03-09T12:19:00.000+08:00

A little summary..

-Mum's due for an epidural
at 3.30 today..
-She might not be able to walk again
should something(God forbid)
happen..
-We know things are going to be alright
and let's just hope the surgeon doing
the proceedure(Or whatever the spelling)
has done this a thousand or more times
before..
-I'm off to the gym now..
-I get in for free...hee..;)
-Hopefully I have time to meet
the girls for dinner tonight..
-I was told that Precious can getaway
this Saturday and we're gonna have a FUN
time..with Nad and Des..i think..And IMAI!!;)
-I better get going..
-Before some other men occupy the machine..

We are girls wrapped up in women.

2006-03-07T21:59:00.000+08:00

I'll leave the bad parts to the last bit..
Here's the good one..
I was really touched today..
Precious followed me all the was to Ps
(even though it was already late)
just to eat my hot-dog that I've been
craving for eversince the show
started..I couldn't take it..I felt like how
a pregnant woman would feel..
The craving for food at such an odd
time and when she can't get what she
wants..the tears and anger will come
bursting out..
Yup..I was almost in tears..
But then she said..'Let's go now..'
So we cabbed there..
And then on the way back...;( sigh..
:
:
I know it wasn't intentional..
But it was twice in a row
you hurt me..
Maybe I'm the one who's sensitive..
But this time..what you said really
got to me..
Time will make me feel better..

Precious came over in the afternoon..
Was a little annoyed by what she did
before that..Why didn't she tell me
that she had uniform fitting after school
and that she'll take awhile there??
I don't get this..
Sometimes this makes me wish I was
back in school..Other times..I thank God
for not making me brave enough..
Urgh...!!

Tomorrow..
Err..I'm not sure..

you know what?
There's a fire downstairs..
And I think it's someone's house coz my room's
filled with smoke..

Tata..

2006-03-06T21:27:00.000+08:00

I hate this..
And I think this is very unfair..
Very very unfair exactly..
My brother works..and still gets
his monthly allowance..why?
'Because he's saving for his holiday.."
Holiday where? Timbuktu??
He should go there and meditate..
Then maybe he'll find is inner peace
and be more considerate..
Damn it..He's earning so much and he
still takes money from my parents..
And I? only get the monthly allowance
and just shut up about it..
Whereas he? Earn so much but still take
more than he should..
F**k you la..

Like I said..I'm a softy..and I don't say
anything although I ought to..
I don't believe my brother's that
mean and inconsiderate..
I've got so many things I need to get
before next week..
I really need the new stuff..
Sigh..I can only do one thing..
Speak to Daddy..
;) and he's gonna call on Thursday!!
Ok..I feel so much better now..;)

Hmm..Went to Compass just now and met
precious and Griselds..
Griselda wanted to buy rings..but couldn't
use the voucher..so sad..hope she finds the
perfect pair..I can understand why how she
feels about everything being perfect..
Oh well..had an incident with Precious
just now..I really don't know what she meant
by that statement..
It was almost as if I should stop eating.Period.
Sigh..

Nevermind..Tomorrow's gonna be a better day..
Everything's gonna go smoothly without
people interfering..Got me??

Now.please.leave.me.alone..