Hmm..

I'm thinking..doing this wasn't a good idea after all
Ah..but what e hell..

You know..I did what i did for a reason..
but would you believe that? uh uh..
Instead..you go pushing things in my face..
thought i couldn't handle..i could..
with e help of my old brain coming back..
Yes..my old brain..like i said eariler..
my brain has been washed..twisted and turned..
And e outcome? Ta dah!!! Disappointment in my friends..
Oh..and not to mention..Wierd behavior and not being myself..
I'm not saying everything is your fault..It isn't..
I just can't believe I let myself fall into a dark hole..

You know me..i'm not one who's independent..
Those who've known me for a very long time..like yani..and sherianne..
Would know that i've always been shy..and scared of everything..
Well..not anymore..NOT anymore..I wasn't scared to fight back..
All i needed was a push and a slap and i woke up..
Sigh..

You know..you have everything you want now..
I don't..I look at you and i'm envious..
But after awhile..If i had what you have..
I'd be really spoilt..wait..That's what happened..
for awhile..i suppose..
I was spoilt..and i almost forgot about everything else..
Thank God it isn't too late..
You tore off your crucifix and dumped it in my trashbin..
Whatever for? and Wherever did u get such an idea in your head?
That if u prayed for CANCER..you'd get it?
I'm sure God has better things to do..my dear..
Not make ppl sick..but however..HE does things for a reason..
Not just by request..hmm..i should shut up and get myself to church soon..
Praying on my own won't help will it?
The person that needs my prayers the most is my Grandma..
I call her "nanny"..She's 87..
She hallucinates every few minutes about random things..
and talks about ppl that have died more than 30 years back..
Sigh..she's to be fed milk through tubes..
Changing her diapers hurts her..Not to mention the slightest touch or movement..
Well..I'm not prepared for her to leave..not now..not yet..
I love you Nanny..hold on for Christmas?

Ok..Ryan's calling me to play with him..
We've gotten abit closer after bringing him to watch Chicken Little..
heh..err..He's my god bro by the way..yeah..
ok now..Thinking if i should actually go back for band tmr..
especially after what happened at the band chalet.
I can't believe that they did such a thing..BRATS..
Show some respect would you?
oh..woops..I forgot ya'll don't know what respect is..
Ah..what e hell..
Scram......!!!