Her hallucinations are
getting worse..
She keeps talking about
dead people..
She asked to see me
for the first time in 4
months..She insists that
my brother is up to no good..
She insists that I'm still 6
years old..
She realises that she's at our
house instead of her..
She realises that my mum
sleeps next to her and not her
own husband..
But what's more hurting..
She's asked for her dress..
The one she wore for her 25th
Wedding anniversary..
She's asked to be cremated in it..
She actually said that she wants
to be cremated..
Grandma..hold on for as long as you
can..

My mum nearly had a relapse..
My dad is preparing vodka
non-stop..
I wish for some..
I wish to go with my grandma..
Things just get harder and worse
each day..
And there's nothing I can do about..
Actually..there is..but..
I'm super confused..
Part of me wants it..Part of me doesn't..
But sooner or later..I know I
have to put my foot down..
But I'm afraid it'll start a conflict..
And so then it's back to square one..

I don't think you know what I'm talking
about..You'll be glad to know that I don't
either..
I only know that I'm planning on
skipping classes the whole week and
take some time off to think bout
stuff..and things like that..
Another reason for skipping classes..
I've gotta practice for the concert this
Sunday..
It better be good..It's our first
performance ever at VCH..
I know the pieces fairly well..
There's only one thing to worry about..
Stagefright..
Yup..I have stagefright..
But I'm not letting it get to me on the
day itself because I love that band
too much to ruin things..
I just hope it goes well..

Tomorrow..Precious is coming over..;)
Before that..I'm following mum to
go get her cake stuff and she's gonna
get me some hair styling equipment..
WOo hoo...about time!!!! ;)
Hmm..for now I'll try and keep myself
happy..don't really wanna think about
stuff..I just need to rest and
be by myself...
Oh..then again..maybe that's not
exactly the brightest idea..
Now that I'm NOT afraid of pain..
Ah well..








There comes a time..
When we head a certain call..