Forgive me for all my rants and rambling..

I feel like absolute shit right now..
Just absolute shit..I was just thinking..
Of all the wonderful friends I have..
Only one or two are true friends..
Not mentioning any names..but..
Seriously..is coming to a party so troublesome?
I called quite a number of people..
Only one bothers to come...Whether or not she's late..
The others? One says "I"ll only com if she comes.."
The other.."who's going? I don't wanna be a loner.."
????? Fine then..Be contented with yourselves yeah?
So much for looking forward to a better Christmas this year..
I'm just gonna drink my life away while waiting for Gaya to come..
She's having a shitful day..or days maybe..so I got her drinks as well..
If you think something's gonna happen..keep dreaming my darlings..

I'm super miserable now..Drinks pls..
Sigh..We became close at one point of time but it ended the minute I met someone else..
So whatever happened with her is the past..Not going to repeat that..not now..not ever..
And that someone else has failed to show me that I can spend a long time of my life
with her..Through your actions..your words..your thoughts and whatever comes out of you..
"sometimes I think you undermind my authority.." WOw..That makes such a great impact..
It plays and haunts my head every now and then..
Happy you left your mark?

Anyway..I've just heard that Gaya's not coming..
and Yani might not come..depending on her dad..
Hmm..can't blame her either..Her dad's really strict..
No worries k? Come when you can..I'll go busy myself in the kitchen..
(with the alcohol) hooray..!
You know what?
I think you don't understand..It doesn't always mean that the two of us
is enough for each other at Christmas..I really need all my friends..
But argh..nevermind alright?
I don't think it's Christmas anymore..
So there..my rants and rambling..you want some more?
let me know pls..thank you very much...

Sweets..;
I'd just like to know..why you're so worried and scared..
She's just a friend..whatever happened..happened..
It's not going to happen again..I swear..
Please don't be scared anymore..please?
I don't think she's even coming..
Trust me? ok?

To all..;
Merry Christmas..and a Happy New Year...