I hate this so much..
I can't take it..
It's gonna be the moment of truth
in about 23 hours..I can already
feel my tears filling my eyes..
(note to self: Don't wear any eye
makeup..)
I can see my friends crying for joy..
I can see them smiling yet tearing..
I can see myself wishing I was them..
I can see myself running to Precious
and holding on to her as though for
dear life..
I can see myself texting my mum the
bad news..
I can see myself dragging
myself out of the school..which I'm not
gonna be in or seeing very often anymore..
(that is until I get my driver's licence and
pick Precious from school) Tee hee..;)
I can see myself walking out into the
world outside the world I've been so
attached to..
I can see myself rejecting my friends'
invitation for lunch because I feel too
ashamed of myself..
I can see me walking home and tearing up..
I can see my brother shaking his head at me...
I can see my mum just asking me.."Are you
alright? It's gonna be alright ok?"
"No mum..it isn't..I ought to be shot.."
Hmm...being emo?
Ah.....SHUTup!..

I can't stop going to the toilet..
It's so horrible....;(
I hate this feeling..
can I pls die before tomorrow?
PLLLLEEEEAAAASSSSEEE????
GGGGrrrrr.....
What I need now is a cup of ice cream..
Must.have.ice.cream.later..

Gonna meet Precious..Nadiah and Imai
later..(I think)..
I don't know if they wanna come..
I hope so..
I would like to have a last good laugh
with them..
They are the ones who know how to crack
me up..;)
I hope I can pull through tonight and
tomorrow morning without having a
nervous breakdown..
Please God..I'm praying real hard now..
All I want is to get the grades I expected..
I'm getting very very restless now..
I need to do something..Hmm..maybe I
will take a super cold bath and snap out of it..

Ok!! shower..Here I come!!!!!!
And I might need to take a crap while I'm at it..
I can feel that nervous thingy running
through me again..
AAAAAAAAaahhhhhhhhhh.....

I swear..
You mother-F**king BITCH..
I swear you ought to be waken up..
You really do..
Or if all fails..
GET LOST or be LOCKED UP...
Hmmm..Maybe your'e harmless to others..
Nah uh..You're #@!#&*#$ poison to me..



















I believe I'll grow real soon..
That's what I do believe..